The Rodent: Holiday on Skaro
by Alteng
Summary: Another Rodent story. Mikey wants to go home, and he can be a persuasive little bugger. PLease, R&R! Now completed! Wohoo!
1. Default Chapter

This is the longest story in the Rodent saga. It is six parts, and it is rather dated. Hey, Super ninetendo was hot at the time. Anyway, if you do not find this one funny, it definately is weird. You learn more about dalek culture than you ever wanted to! Hey! This story reveals the truth of dalek reproduction. It is in the process of being retyped, so be patient.  
  
Holiday on Skaro Part One  
  
I have always found the Rodent to be a most interesting Time Lady to say the least. She has often proved to be quite embarrassing to both Miriel and myself. I do not think that Miriel deserves such a fate, but she only smiles and shakes her head at the Rodent's foolishness and strange logic. Me, well. I deserve whatever happens to me, because of my disgraceful existence. If I hadn't gotten myself into such a mess, the sontarans would not have wanted my blood, thus the Rodent would not have rescued me. I would not have met the Rodent, Mikey, K-9, nor Miriel. I do not regret any of their acquaintances, and my own sorted past means nothing to them. The two females, who seem to be the only ones with any worries to my dietary needs, seem to be more than a little friendly with me. In the case of Miriel it hurts all the more, because the feelings are returned to her. If things had been different, I would have happily considered her for my wife. What is done is done, and even with the capacity of a time machine, I could not change my present state, even if I could convince the Rodent to help me. She probably would help me, at that. What are the laws of time to her? What is any law to her. She breaks the laws of Gallifrey by allowing me to exist. I think she would break the law about going back in time and changing one's past just to show how rebellious she is. It is a pleasant but implausible thought. It would make no difference. I was a blind stubborn 21 year old, who knew it all.  
  
Enough of my troubles. I must to my story at hand. Mikey, my gracious host's amazing dalek companion, wanted to go home. He was the strangest dalek I ever encountered. I'll admit that I know little to nothing about mechanical beings, even those with living tissue and blood. I have seen, observed, and been blasted a few times by these mechanical beings. I have often tried to foil their plans, but more times than not, I have been foiled. My life may be practically inextinguishable, but it hurts all the same to see others die around me or be forced into miserable slavery without hope or tortured in the course of dalek experiments or just tortured for the sheer pleasure of the dalek masters. Death is an inevitable part of life. Even I will eventually die. It still hurts to see other needlessly die after so few years. It makes my own sins against life seem less horrendous. It doesn't excuse me.  
  
If the Rodent is an embarrassment, then Mikey can outdo her. anyday. Maybe it is his competitive nature or just plainly his reprogramming. It is hard to say. How could I describe Mikey . . . a hyper most aggressive mischievous four year old, and K-9 doesn't help matters any. Mikey is partially organic, so he has something resembling an excuse. K-9 is completely mechanical. What do I know of illogical state of computerized beings? My specialty is chemistry.  
  
Mikey had hoped to join the daleks, who had acquired the "Humanoid" element from the Doctor and his companions some years ago. These daleks were not the emotionless calculating beings I had always encountered. Of course, I never really thought of the daleks being devoid of emotions. The daleks I always have met have been a bit on the hysterical and malicious side. These are emotions no matter what the Rodent might say about computerized mechanical beings. Whenever she goes on her superior technological jargon, I just throw up my hands and give in. For all my centuries of existence, I have managed to avoid acquiring a technological intelligence. Although I have traveled in many space crafts and seen many advanced cultures, I have always remained in the dark about such workings. Somehow I think if I give in and learn, I will lose being who I was. Besides, it is not in the nature of my state of being to accept change, and the Rodent won't believe me that it is the nature of a normal dalek to be violent and sadistic, because it is in their blood to be this way.  
  
These daleks the Doctor had changed had the element of a conscience, because they shared elements of the Doctor's and Jaime's blood. Few of these daleks remained. Many races, including the daleks, felt that they no longer existed or never in the first place. Mikey was determined that thhtey still lived on Skaro. He had a few scuffles with renegade daleks during his patrols for the Emperor. Daleks had not believed his reports, and the acts of sabotage was always blamed on the pesty thals, who persistently lives on Skaro, no matter how hard the daleks tried to exterminiate them.  
  
Mikey tried to explian the inherent hatred beteween the daleks and the thals to me. This hatred had began bedore the daleks were mutated into their present form, and the hatred had continued thousand of years before that. It started even before the kaleds, the daleks before mutation, and the thals were separated into two different races. Mikey did not did know nor did he care why the two races split, nor did he truly know why they were at war with each other. Trust me, just because a faction of the inhabitants were called the thals was not sufficient enough reason for me to believe that the two races would still strive to kill each other. The reason was forever lost to time like the sad story of the two lovers from two feuding families, who couldn't remember what they were feuding about. I never understood why these people could not enjoy what little life they had.  
  
Mikey had hoped to bring forth his grand idea to break into the computers of the dalek headquarters. There he would set forth a program that would convince the Emperor Dalek and his daleks to accept the humanoid factor as an advantage over the often raiding genocidal daleks of Davros. (Davros is a whole different story that I don't get either!) Since the normal dalek did everything the computer tells him, this program's directive would be accepted and met without questions to the effect of "Haven't we been here before?" (Another thought over my head) Think about it. The more advanced the culture, the more they depend upon computers. So, all you need is some program, that a half way descent programmer can come up with, and you can bugger their whole world. Frightening, is it not? What is more frightening for the daleks and us is the computers that came up with this program. I know little to nothing about computers, as I have somewhat mentioned before, but somehow I would not trust anything that came from the combined efforts of a computer that does not understand coordinates (George), a robotic dog that can't figure out back from front (K-9), and a pretty happy dalek with a thing for WD-40 (Mikey)!  
  
After many unsuccessful attempts for Skaro, George finally landed us there after several interesting stops and misadventures better left untold. Somehow, traveling to the biggest carnival in the galaxy and have fend for our freedom from the freak show attendant was not my idea of fun nor was it the type of adventure I would like to relate to a group. In another adventure, we landed in a medieval world. The people were a bit shy of us, and the Rodent smiled brightly and assured them that I didn't bite! She does a lot for the hiding of my nature, and she is most fortunate that I have a code of honor. Somehow, through so many interchanges and displays, we were accused of witchcraft. Somehow my idea of fun did not include being burned at the stake! I know not whether or not it would kill me, but I knew I didn't want to find out. Between my actual efforts to save the girls and myself and the chaos, that Mikey and K-9 ensued, we managed to escape unscathed. I often wonder what folktales would be created after that misadventure to scare the children.  
  
Anyway, we landed on Skaro this time. The Rodent exclaimed cheerfully, "Here we are on Skaro!" like she did the last thirty five times, "You all slip into your skimpy bathing suits, because it's a scorcher out there!" She eyed me and continued "And I have some sunscreen 99 for you, my boy!"  
  
Somehow she was not convinced that direct sunlight did not bother me, and the 'my boy bit was most inappropriate since I have several centuries on her. It was no use in telling her this. She rummaged through her several cupboards and drawers along the wall of the TARDIS. It was amazing the amount of stuff that went flying by. Miriel only shook her head, as great splatches of staining substances smeared and dripped across the walls and the floors of the TARDIS. The moldy fast food restaurant bag, that appeared out of one of the drawers, did little for my stomach, and I do not digest human food! It continued to move after it was discarded against the far wall. Miriel calmly took a broom and beat the squishy substance out of it! After a couple of hours search, that left the TARDIS devastated and Miriel in a cleaning frenzy, the Rodent slumped dejectedly across the counter. Suddenly, she stood up with a bright smile.  
  
"Rassilon!" she called into one of the luminous pockets of her dirty torn jacket. Now, if you know anything about Time Lords and their society, you'd figure that she had lost her marbles . . . that is if you didn't know her and knew she had no marbles to start with! Rassilon was one of the greatest Time Lords in Gallifrey's history, according to the Gallifreyians, but that Rassilon and the Rodent's Rassilon were two totally different beings! Although I will say this much, they were both more intelligent than the Rodent.  
  
"What!" cried out a squeaky irritated voice. A tan rat's head with beady purple eyes followed by a tan and white body came out of her pocket. Now, how and where the Rodent came up with a talking rat was beyond me. I ceased to ask such questions long ago.  
  
"Where's the radiation pills?" she asked.  
  
The rat pulled back its head and gave a disgusted snuff. "What do I look like? Your pharmacist?"  
  
"Ras! Don't argue! Where else would you find a more prosperous pocket for your rat hole?"  
  
"Hmpf!" he snorted. he dove back into her pocket. After a few minutes he returned with a bottle of pills. The Rodent struggled with the safety proof lid. Finally, she put it on the counter, found a large hammer, and smashed opened the bottle. She salvaged through the broken plastic. All the pills I have ever seen were an oval shape and a dull color. These pills were in the shape of people in bright colors. "These aren't the radiation pills!" she cried out, as she popped a couple of them in her mouth. "These are my vitamins!"  
  
The rat returned with another bottle. The Rodent looked the bottle over curiously. "Much better," she said. She poured a couple of pills into Miriel's hand. She herself took one. She looked at me and offered the bottle.  
  
"Does radiation bother you?"  
  
I shrugged. "What's the worst thing that can happen? I'll die?"  
  
"Oh, but you can't up and die on us! That would leave K-9 and Mikey to rescue the ladies fair, and that's against Mikey's code of ethics!"  
  
I looked at both the women before me. Both were dark haired and tan skinned. Miriel had gotten dark from all the exposure to the suns that we have had of late. I smiled. "Neither of you are fair, and only one of you is a lady."  
  
"Now, that's not way to talk about Miriel!" she reprimanded.  
  
"That's not the one I was referring to as lacking ladyship," I mumbled under my breath.  
  
She forced several of the pills into my hand. She opened the TARDIS door and strolled out singing off key "What a Beautiful Day on Skaro".  
  
Miriel looked at me and shrugged. With a smile, she followed our glorious leader. I followed Miriel, and K-9 followed Mikey and me at the rear with his rear first . . . as normal. We stepped out onto the barren desert plains beside an old fashion dirty refrigerator. The TARDIS had the strangest ideas of disguises. Somehow, we would have been most surprised and more worried if it had become a big pile of sand or a cactus.  
  
Looking around, I saw to the west under the boiling sun, a vast metallic city. By my judgment, it stood some fifty miles away. To the north east was a woodland of strangely twisted trees. This forest was some thirty miles away, and it stretched a good many miles across the horizon to the north and away from the great metal city. To the south west were the signs of a ruined stone city and desert beyond. To the north west were great bare hills in the far distance across the desert. These hills were in the far reaches of my vision. To the south eat lay a gray woodland. It had the bleached appearance of being made of stone. This gray woodland stretched into the twisted woodland to the north.  
  
Mikey spun his head around in a full circle. "HOME AT LAST!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Alright, Mikey, which way?" the Rodent asked as she put on her mirror sunglasses.  
  
"THE THALS LIVE BEYOND THE WOODLAND. THE DALEKS LIVE IN THE METAL CITY."  
  
"I think we could have figured that one out on our own," I commented.  
  
"That leaves the hills and the petrified forest," the Rodent said.  
  
"I SAY WE GO TO THE HILLS," Mikey answered, "THE GREAT HORROR LIVES IN THE PETRIFIED FOREST. NO DALEK OR THAL GOES THERE."  
  
So, it sounds like fun!"  
  
I shook my head. "I don't think that wise," I answered, "Probably the woods would be a better place to start, since what I understand of the thals, they are humanoid. Three out of five of us fit that description, and K-9 is not a race at war with the thals."  
  
But we are in co-hoots with a dalek," she pointed out, "That means we're target practice!"  
  
"THE PETRIFIED FOREST CONTAINS MONSTERS." Mikey explained, "THEY WERE MUTATED FROM THE ANIMALS THAT ONCE LIVED HERE THE RADIATION CHANGED THEM IN STRANGE WAYS. THE MUTATION CONTINUES GENERATION AFTER GENERATION. THEY BECOME MORE POWERFUL. DALEK BLASTS DON'T HARM THEM. THEY ARE LEAD BY THE GREAT HORROR. IT IS THE GREATEST OF MUTATIONS."  
  
"Ah, but they haven't tried my cooking!" the Rodent exclaimed.  
  
Mikey, Miriel, and I looked at her strangely. K-9 wagged his tail. Miriel bent down and petted the mechanical dog on the head. "You are more clueless than I am," she said softly. K-9 wagged his tail more fiercely.  
  
"THESE MUTATIONS DO NOT STRAY INTO THE CITY. THEY STAY IN THE WOODS. DALEKS ARE CONTENT."  
  
"Can't kill them, ignore them," prompted the Rodent.  
  
"THEY DO NOT EXIST," corrected Mikey.  
  
Somehow I thought that would come up. "THE HILLS FOR ME," Mikey said, "THE REBEL DALEKS WILL BE THERE."  
  
"But you are suspected to be a regular dalek," the Rodent protested.  
  
"THEY WOULD THINK ME A THAL IN DALEK CASING," Mikey answered, "THE THALS HAVE PENETRATED DALEK HEADQUARTERS THIS WAY."  
  
"Why not have the Rodent and me seek out the thals and talk to them," Miriel suggested, "Alandis and Mikey can stay at the TARDIS until we make contact. We bring K-9 with us to make out the computer program for them,"  
  
"I WILL NOT HAVE INFERIOR HUMANOIDS DOING MY WORK!" Mikey complained.  
  
The Rodent smiled. "It is best that your superior self be protected while the humanoid pawns clear the way." The Rodent had many flaws, and she was dizzy to say the very least, but she always knew how to talk to Mikey. A talent that most humanoids lacked.  
  
The Rodent went back into the TARDIS. We heard several chunks ad crashed. Miriel cringed at the sound. She worried about cleaning the mess when she got back, and the Rodent knew her well enough to know this. After a half an hour of destructive noises, she rejoined us with a motor scooter. The mechanical dog continued to wag its tail.  
  
She looked at me. "If we aren't back by tomorrow morning, come and join the party," she exclaimed. She offered Miriel a seat and glanced at K-9. "Ready for a ride?" she asked cheerfully.  
  
An electronic belch filled the air. "I thought so," answered the Rodent.  
  
She revved up the motor bike and was off like a shot.  
  
I looked at Mikey and shrugged. We returned to the TARDIS to wait out the sunrise of the next day, or at least a couple of hours. Mikey called up a program on the TARDIS computer. Apparently, George and Mikey were playing a game that entailed running down pedestrians with a vehicle. Mikey said several words in dalekian, that made me glad that the girls were not here to hear. The Rodent didn't need to add anything to her sorted vocabulary.  
  
I don't know why I bothered to waste my time on such a frivolous activity. George was winning, I believe. I got this distinct feeling when a large smoking hole appeared in the screen. I shook my head and decided I had best seek out sustenance.  
  
After three hours, I decided that the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9 had sufficiently found trouble, and they were up to their eyebrows in it by now. Pulling Mikey away from the diligent repair of the TARDIS monitor, I learned even more dalekian swear words, especially since his laser gun had no effect upon me. I glared at him.  
  
"I have been through worse," I answered, "We must rescue the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9."  
  
"WHY?"  
  
K-9 is a good friend of yours."  
  
"WHAT IS AN INFERIOR COMPUTER TO THE DALEKS?"  
  
"The Rodent gets WD-40 for you."  
  
"I AM LEAVING THE RODENT. DALEKS WILL CREATE THEIR OWN WD-40."  
  
"I like Miriel. You will help me save Miriel. Why? you ask, because I have more brute force than you. Your gun has no effect upon me. You will obey me, or you will be a big green slimy stain on the TARDIS wall."  
  
"I AM A DALEK. I OBEY NO INFERIOR RACE."  
  
I glared at him. The eyestalk dilated and met my challenge. We stood this way for a good fifteen minutes, until I decided this was useless and wasting my time. I got bored and said, "I'll split you my next kill."  
  
"IT'S A BIT DRY."  
  
"Since when do you care? I thought anything that would eat frozen Big Macs would was not that finicky."  
  
"I DID NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FOR THAT ONE."  
  
"So, my kills are better than cooked Big Macs."  
  
"YOU WANT ME TO GIVE UP CHALLENGING THIS INFERIOR COMPUTER AT DEATH RACE TO SAVE K-9, THE RODENT, AND MIRIEL JUST FOR YOUR DRY LEFTOVERS?"  
  
"Okay, with anti-freeze and WD-40 poured over the top of it."  
  
Mikey remained silent. Finally, his eyestalk looked up, and he chirped, "ALRIGHT."  
  
So, after much argument about the mode of transport and payments for services rendered, I ended up holding tightly to Mikey's casing, and I planted my feet firmly on the platform of his metal skirt. It was times like these that I really wished I knew something of that skill called driving. Unlike other daleks that I have encountered, Mikey had more speed than any of the mechanical menace that I have ever encountered. We took off like a shot. After a couple of seconds, I adjusted to the harrowing speed. This I could handle. It was the drop from the 500 miles per hour to zero in less than a quarter of a second that did not go over too well. The heavy tree breaking stop took me a little while to get over. I will have to learn how to drive!  
  
I managed to gather my scattered wits, broken bones, and other problems. Some of the attributes of my state of being are quite useful at times. During the hour that it took my dazed healing process to finish, I could swear that I heard mechanical laughter. When I looked up from the staring eyestalk from my position in the grass, I swear that I could detect a self satisfied grin from my companion. I quietly composed myself. I pulled myself up from the ground and firmly kicked Mikey's dalek can.  
  
"YOU ARE FORTUNATE THAT YOU DID NOT DENT MY CASING! WARS HAVE BEEN FOUGHT OVER LESS!" grated his harsh voice.  
  
"I've told you before I am not afraid of you and your threats," I answered.  
  
"I HAVE TRIED TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL OF DEATH, AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME!"  
  
I knew there was no point in arguing with him about dying in honor. So, I let it pass. I sought out my companions' track. Since the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9 made no effort to hide their tracks, they were easy enough to find along with the motor scooter, that was heavily chained to a tree. We managed to avoid multiple nasty traps. Knowing the leadership and the experience of the other party. I wondered how they managed to escape these traps. I knew them not dead, because their tracks continued through the woods. Mikey was insistent that I go first through the woods, and he followed at a fair distance behind me. The first round of explosives scared me tremendously, and especially for the fate of our female companions. The thought of the loss of Miriel devastated me, and the thought of without the Rodent, I was likely to be stranded on a planet full of daleks like Mikey. It was more than I could take. Mikey trundled along without caring. My presence on this planet would not bother him near as bad as it would me being stuck here!  
  
After a while, Mikey recognized the traps, and he showed off his marksdakekship to me. Not only did he blast the traps, he blasted small furry animals and not so small and not so furry animals and anything else that moved or otherwise.  
  
I shook my head. "That gun had better be on stun," I complained.  
  
"AND WHAT if it is not?"  
  
"There is no need to kill these creatures needlessly."  
  
"WHAT ARE THEIR MENIAL LIVES AGAINST THE ENTERTAINMENT OF THE SUPERIOR DALEK RACE?"  
  
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned on him. I stood my ground and prepared my farewell speech to say to my irritating companion, but he cut me off.  
  
HUMANOIDS ARE SO PECULIAR. YOUR VAMPIRE RACE HAS DESTROYED PLANETS WITHOUT A THOUGHT, WHAT MAKES THAT DIFFERENT THAN MY TARGET PRACTICE?"  
  
I sighed and drooped my shoulders. He had a point. The vast destruction was not necessary for our existence. Is this not why I have tried to do penitence the last couple of centuries?  
  
His eyestalk turned to me in my silent defeat. "BESIDES," he said, "DOES MY LASER HAVE ANY OTHER SETTING BESIDES STUN?"  
  
I looked at him. My darkness passed. "You may fool the Rodent, but I know you better. For all your flaws, you are still a dalek. That laser would be the first thing on your agenda to fix."  
  
"I HAVE NO FLAWS, BECAUSE I AM A DALEK."  
  
"Hush!" I hissed. I heard movement in the woods. The sense of humanoids filled my being in a none too positive way. For all my years of discipline of control, I have never been able to overcome that basic instinct. Mikey made no argument of the order I gave him, because he became sorely aware of danger also.  
  
Mikey turned his eyestalk around and scanned the woodland. The gun post turned around next. I hopped behind my companion to avoid the blast. The blue laser split the air, and I turned and fell face forward into Mikey's casing. I slid to the ground. I was getting tired of getting wounded so many times in the course of this story. As I lost consciousness and laid face down in the mud bleeding, two thoughts occurred to me. I knew my female companions had to be elbow deep in trouble, because stun blasts only threw me somewhat. The blast was meant to kill me. The other thought was at this rate, I would have to replenish my sustenance sooner than I expected. This was irritating to me, because when starved, I am much more violent than I mean to be, and I really did not want to feed in front of Mikey.  
  
When I did wake, I found Mikey totally immobilized and booby trapped. How many blasts hits me? Mikey's gun and plunger were broken along with his eyestalk. A large pack of explosives was strapped around his casing. There was scrawling of foreign words and letters spray painted all over him. I believe I had my first lesson in thalian. And the words I just learned just matched what I learned from Mikey. Now I was vocabularily equipped for a barroom brawl anywhere on Skaro! I'm so thrilled. I rubbed my sore head and tried to clear my thinking. I looked over Mikey's booby traps thoroughly, and I realized that there was no way that I could safely undo it, and I could hear the tick of the timer.  
  
I accessed the locking devise the thals had put on Mikey's lid. It was simple and not connected to the explosives. I was left for dead . . . they had zapped me enough to kill a Allurian weremoose! (Trust me, they are a hardy creature!) They apparently felt that no other creature, including other daleks, would try and rescue him. I easily broke the lock. Quickly, I pulled out the green blob of squirming tentacles from the mechanism and ran further into the woods with my slimy bundle.  
  
The explosion caused the ground to shake and a bright light lit the woods around me. I was thrown to the ground. I can happily tolerate the bright sunlight and do some roaming about in daylight hours, but I am still a nocturnal creature with the frailties of creatures of night. I was blinded by the flash. Luckily for Mikey, I was a light weight creature, since he was under my bulk.  
  
There was a good reason for dalek casing. The organic being that was Mikey was rather a frail jellyfish like creature, who would be at a disadvantage in any war. Extreme temperatures would do no good. A sunburn to his thin skin could be a truly harrowing experience. If I had wanted to kill Mikey, this would have been my perfect opportunity, as much as we argued and he irritated me, I never truly had the desire to kill him. Besides, I had just rescued him! I felt tentacles crawl from under me and over my back as I lay face down in the mud. I lifted myself up and touched the bulk on my back. "Mikey?" I inquired.  
  
I go no response. The tentacles tightened around my shoulders. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up. Still no light came to my eyes. I stood up. My head swirled and I unceremoniously sat back down with a thump. I wiped the mud from my face with a cleaner part of my sleeve. My sight still struggled to return. My ears perked at the sound of approaching feet. "Mikey! We're in trouble!" The tentacles squeezed my arms slightly. I heard a squealy unintelligible voice in my ear. I felt fine sharp teeth in my shoulder. I gave a frail smarmy smile. "Whatever you are thinking, my friend, remember what I am. To bite me would not be a good idea. There is no telling what my blood will do to you. Besides, that will not motivate me out of my inability."  
  
I heard a disgusted squeal and gurgle. I moved my hands to a tree and pulled myself up. I continued to blink my eyes, but to no avail. I took a deep breath and allowed my other sense guide me. My state of existence allowed my sense to heighten plus I acquired a few more. I not only could hear the approach of footfalls, but I could feel their souls and the movement of their blood as well. I prepared myself. I sorted the feel of the tree around me. With another deep breath, I made a run for it. My aim was off. I ran into a couple of trees before I gave up the idea. My existence did not call for hunting and feeding off of trees after all. I have never been blinded before, and no matter my age and multiple skills, I knew I would not be able to escape them this way. So, it was time to climb a tree. Mikey made frantic remarks. I think the great superior being of the supreme race of the universe was afraid of heights! I hushed him. I could hear the thals on the ground below. I cringed up in the thick leaves and hoped they didn't look up.  
  
........................to be continued...................... 


	2. Holiday on Skaro Part 2

A Holiday on Skaro Part 2  
  
I have always been one to help a friend. So, when Mikey not so subtly suggested that he wanted to go back to Skaro, (It had to do with that big smoking hole in the TARDIS console.) I didn't argue much. Well, let's face it, having a teed off dalek about was not exactly a good thing. Besides, he wasn't much of a conversationalist. There is only so much you can get out of shrieks such as "Exterminate!" and "I am the superior being here. we will do things my way!" (It was fun to get those longer statements out of him in a single shriek!) Yet, somehow, I was rather regretful to let him go. One only had to know how to talk to him to get him to do what was wanted. Just make out that it was his idea, and he'd do it. This is how I got him convinced to get some live meat for Miriel, Alandis, and myself. I just suggested that it was a good time to practice his shooting skills. Of course, it didn't hurt much to appeal to his sadistic side, so that the game was still alive when Alandis got to it. One must keep a vampire well fed, even if he is disgusted with me. His chemistry work could only do so much.  
  
After several unsuccessful attempts and more blasts to the console, we finally arrived at Skaro (with a Dunkin Donut go bag in hand). Now, could I really help it that the coordinates I gave the TARDIS and the destination did not exactly match! Anyway, after I made a collection of several things, that should prove helpful with the thals, with Miriel and K-9 in tow, we decided that we would make contact with the thals first. This adventure should prove quite interesting to me. The last I heard of the thals, they were a bunch of blonde blue eyed folk!  
  
K-9 carried the precious program that the three great computer minds had come up with. (The daleks were in trouble!) The thals could help us out with getting rid of the bugs in the program. I suggested a can of Raid, but the blast from Mikey told me that that was the wrong kind of bug. So, I tied K-9 to the back of the motor scooter, and we were off across the desert.  
  
Everything was going fine until we were half a mile from the woods, and the motor scooter gave out a disgusting sputtering noise (and a more disgusting smell, I might well add), and we made a dead stop. With the combination of the three of great mechanical minds at hand, I ended up pushing it for the last half mile. After we finally reached the forest, I whipped out the lock and chain. I really didn't want ot lose my means of transportation to a wandering thal. Nevermind that it wasn't exactly mine in the first place. I just kind of borrowed it a couple of years ago, and I haven't had time to return it. Troublesome companions and all, you know. Oh well, when I get around to it, I will just have to back up a few minutes after it disappeared in the first place. Ah, the advantages of time travel. Besides, I may find some gorgeously mechanically inclined thal to help these ladies in distress! After I chained the motor scooter to a sturdy tree, Miriel and I shouldered our packs, and I tied my leash to K-9's tail.  
  
We proceeded in the dark woods with its heavy over hanging branches and sinister noises, that sometimes sounded like large explosions and the ping of projectiles. After K-9 got caught on several wires crossing our paths and I cut them apart, so he could pass, I decided that Miriel could carry him. What are companions for anyway. For a long time, we trekked through the treacherous woods. Finally, we came upon a pleasant little clearing. So, I decided it was time to feed my demanding stomach. I pulled out the grand supply of Twinkies, and I munched thoughtfully until my quiet happy repose was disturbed by my Twinkie being wisked away by a laser bolt. Miriel and I froze our movements, K-9 wagged his tail. We were soon surrounded by six thal men with quite sizeable blasters ( that didn't bade well for their welcoming personalities) aimed directly at us. ( That didn't bade well for the heriones.)  
  
Miriel looked shocked. K-9 made a crude noise, and I was teed off! (No one disturbs my Twinkie Time!) I scrutinized the tall not so good smelling young thal, with a dirty grey t-shirt with "Number Splattered" written on it with multiple marks afterwards. The green marks didn't bother me as much as the red ones did.  
  
I stood up and glared at the insolent thal. "How am I to finish out my important mission when you blast good wholesome food from my hand. You know the Alegres of Millipsee 7 would give an arm for that Twinkie!" (As if that was some great prize! After all, the Alegres had fifty arms apiece, and they would readily regenerate a new one. Besides, what would I do with an Alegre arm anyway! But the thals didn't know this.)  
  
The thal aimed his blaster. Miriel shook off her startlement and stood beside me. "We came to seek your leaders. We need to talk to them. We might be able to help you against the daleks," she said softly.  
  
The leader thal made several hand motions ending in a fist. The thals took aim at us, then suddenly they all fell with a blue flash. Another party of blonde, none too good smelling thal females came, threw the unconscious thal men over their shoulders and left. Miriel and I looked at each other puzzled, and K-9 made circles. We shrugged and moved forward.  
  
We came to a city. It was a city of tall gleaming white buildings of shining glass. Each building was about twenty stories tall and was as about wide as it was tall. There was a marking of a name scrawled across the buildings. They were frivolous names, such as "Mysan block" (Mysan was a highly allergenic type of flower that prospered on Skaro.), "Big Rock Block", "Sun Block", and such like. Generally, it was a bunch of boring names like street names.  
  
We came to the gates and walls of the city. The gates were made of unbreakable glass, that reflected the sun. there were two tall blonde, lanky, and a whole lot better smelling than the thals we just met in the woods. They were dark complected and neatly attired in uniforms. They aimed their guns at us also.  
  
"Hi there!" I chirped with a wide grin. They looked at us puzzled. "We would like you to take us to your leader," I added in the cliche science fiction phrase, "and have a good meal. I just lost my lunch to some marauding smelly thals! What a welcoming party! Where are the manners of the thals nowadays."  
  
The thal guards were not impressed. The leader motioned to his companion, who called up reenforcements on a portable telephone. Within moments, we were tied, gagged, and thrown over the shoulders of a couple of hefty thal men. This was really a lousy welcoming party! I had the distinct feeling that they really did not like us. We were thrown in a none too gentle manner into a glass cubicle. Four guards took station at each of the corners. A guard at the head and to the right worked a remote control, and the cube began to float along. I managed to roll over and saw Miriel in the opposite corner. She was sitting up. K-9 was in a corner on his head and was hog tied. I moved to sit up, and the cube bobbed and swayed. I managed to ungag myself and do some redecorating with the half the Twinkie that I had managed to eat. What can I say. I was cube sick.  
  
The thals took us to an opened area inside one of the buildings. It was dark and an opened empty room like a gymnasium. A spotlight flashed down on our cube and illuminated Miriel, K-9, and me. Miriel had by now managed to ungag herself, but unlike me, she managed to keep her lunch. Finally, a light shone on an official looking thal in a grey suit. He was a thin grey haired thal with piercing sea blue eyes. A younger muscular built young thal, with an innocent looking farm boy face, stood at this official looking thal's side. I was intrigued.. This younger thal was tall, clean shaven, and had bright sapphire eyes, that could melt a girl. He wore a white lab coat with multiple deep pockets, bulging with multiple scientific instruments. He was munching on some crunchy snack in a white bag, that made my stomach protest further, especially since half my Twinkie now lay in the corner of our prison. Three others stood behind these two. They were dressed in military uniforms and carried blasters.   
  
The thal in the grey suit motioned to the thals behind him. We were bodily dragged out of the cube and thrown on the floor. K-9 left a gift for these thals, too, and we heard him make a homerun in it.  
  
The guard pulled us off of the floor and went to search us. K-9 and Rassilon came to our rescue. K-9 shot a fork and nailed the thal that searched Miriel. He yelped and pulled the fork from his behind. Rassilon saved me and the guard, who wasn't all that good looking for a blonde older thal man, from the endless search of my vast pockets. My guard pulled out what 'once was' a half eaten ham sandwich with an interesting new and unique orange fungus growing on it. Rassilon was attached at the other end.. My rat companion, feeling about food as I do, ran up the sandwich and bit the thal. Taking his sandwich back, he dove back into my pocket.  
  
The third guard trained his blaster on us. Our searching guards pulled back from my companions' attacks. The four guard, that had accompanied us here, aimed their blasters at us also. This had not been a good day.  
  
"Please, wait!" Miriel cried out with her hands held out, "We are friends of the Doctor. From what the Rodent has told me of the Doctor's adventures, he has often helped your people."  
  
The leader in the grey suit held up his hands and the guards backed off of us. The scientist thal crumpled his empty bag and stuffed it the official thal's pocket. The older thal shot an angry glare at him. The scientist gave an embarrassed smile. The official turned to us. "Prove your words."   
  
I smiled brightly. "K-9 was a gift to me," I answered, "He has the Doctor's signature on his bottom."  
  
One on the thals looks puzzled. He put his gun to one side and rolled the dog over. "This is the esteemed property of the Doctor. Please, return if lost" was carved on the bottom. K-9 was always lost, and he still had not been returned.  
  
I dug through my pockets. A guard threatened me with a gun, but the leader held up his hand. The guard pulled back. I came up with a ring. It was engraved on the back, "To the Doctor with love, Zodan". Somehow I had the feeling this may be why the Doctor left Gallifrey in the first place. I mean, after all, he didn't seem upset when Rassilon took it.  
  
The official thal nodded. I shrugged and took back my ring. "I also have evidence in our bags that may help my friend Mikey out, if I may have an audience with your leader."  
  
The thal smiled. "You may impart your information to me. I am the leader of Racar."  
  
"I would like to talk in a more private and comfortable place," I answered, "with a bit to eat would be nice."  
  
"You aren't mutos or psychos. Although we feel you may be borderline. We weren't sure for awhile there, mind you. You are far too fair complected to be a kaled," (compared to what Alandis had to say about me!) "but you could be a rebel. Your companion is dark enough for a kaled, though."  
  
"I thought the kaleds no longer existed. I thought they were all daleks now," I commented.  
  
"Not all," the scientist answered, as he looked us over. "Some of the kaleds were out on special missions elsewhere on the planet, and there were a good thirty or more spies in our city during the great war." He looked Miriel up and down. "You look like a kaled, but you don't dress like a kaled. Neither do you dress like the rebel faction."  
  
"Rebel faction?" Miriel asked.  
  
The scientist stood back and waved his hand at her. "You know. The thals and the kaleds who are no longer pure thals and kaleds. They have mingled their blood." He dug through his luminous lab coat pockets and couldn't find what he sought. Then he went through the pockets in the pockets of his other clothes, but he still couldn't find what he sought. "Oh drat!" he exclaimed as he ran from the room. The official thal shook his head, and we waited and waited. My stomach made more rude noises. We still waited. We heard a large crash and a louder thalian curse. Another crash, a tinkerling of glass and another curse came through the walls, then the scientist suddenly appeared and made a sudden stop.  
  
A device appeared in his hand from nowhere. It looked like a gun with a TV screen on it. The machine made a high pitched noise as he aimed it at Miriel. "Nop!" he exclaimed, "She's not a kaled. Can I experiment on her, Shranas? Please! Huh? Huh? Please! I'll be a good boy! I promise!" he exclaimed jumping up and down.   
  
Shranas shrugged and shook his head "no". The big thal stomped his foot and left. Shranas had us escorted after him, and a guard carried K-9 after he bumped into a couple of walls. K-9 happily wagged his tail in the guard's arms. We came to a brightly lit room. We were bid to take a seat. Shranas sat at the head of the table/  
  
"Your life scans say that you aren't from this planet," Shranas stated, "I need not see the readings to know you are alien. Garkoe wastoo excited for you to be from Skaro. He has gone off to make analysis of the information that he just gathered." he made a vague hand motion. "But, anyway, we have many and various legends of the Doctor in many and various ways. He always fought against the evil daleks, and we hold him in great honor because of that."  
  
"The Doctor has helped many," I agreed, "and I have had his acquaintance many times. It's always been a fun encounter, to say the least. We are here to help a friend of a strange nature, to say the least, and you might well benefit from it. Since the daleks are troublesome from either side, we have come up with a way for them to be . . . uh . . . well . . . maybe less aggressive."  
  
"Dead would be good," answered Shranas.  
  
"Well, that's not what I had in mind. Mikey is quite a . . . well, maybe not . . . different kind of dalek!"  
  
"What! You are dalek sympathizers!" He raised a microphone to the intercom.  
  
I stood up quickly, and K-9 shot a fork. He managed to hit the wall behind him and it ricocheted off and nailed Shranas in the rear. He jumped with a yelp. The guards aimed their blasters at us. "Wait!" I cried out! I can prove that Mikey is a good dalek, and I believe we would all be better off if we could get the daleks a bit more like him."  
  
I rummaged through my knapsack and Miriel's and came up with several of Mikey's things. I had his rental card for the "The Best Hopping, Flying Slithering Little Video Game Rental Dive of the Orion Belt" with a picture of his slimy blob in the corner, the official membership card for the "Invertebrates of the Universe Unite" club, a trophy for the winningest score in the game "Doom" (He'd say it was proof of his superiority! He's been introduced to a Super Nintendo for three months, and he was able to master all its games! No fair!) , a video collection of video nasties from Varos (with a duplicate copy of the one starring the Doctor), and finally, in a large 9 X 12 envelope, I had what caught the attention of most thals. I had two intriguing photos of Jo Grant, with an amazing lack of clothing, posed in strategic ways with a dalek. This gave the present thals quite a bit of enthusiasm. Shranas insisted that he borrow these photos for investigation into the authenticity. He was gone for quite some time. There were sounds of howls and wolf whistles from the other room. Shranas returned to our room as he straightened out his collar and cleared his throat. He took his seat again at the head of the table.  
  
"We would like to keep this photo for awhile," he said.  
  
I shrugged. "Oh, I guess." Honestly, I really had no need for photos of ex-associates of the Doctor's in the nude . . . now photos of the a certain Doctor in compromising positions were a complete different story! Oh well, to business. "We would like your computer experts to look over this program that Mikey, K-9, and my TARDIS computer came up with." At these words, K-9 moved across the floor with the paper print out in his wake. "It is suppose to make the daleks more like Mikey." Lord help us!  
  
"If we refuse?"  
  
"You do want peace with the daleks, don't you?"  
  
"Well, truthfully, not really," Shranas answered. The guards nodded in agreement. "We would like to wipe them off the face of Skaro."  
  
"Now, come-come! Thals have always wanted peace on their planet, and this will be a step towards that peace. You will all go down in history." Boy, would they ever Shranas didn't look impressed. So, I added. "Besides, the daleks will be easier to defeat when they are more like the thals, now won't they?"  
  
His brow furrowed in thought. "It is true they have always failed when they have tried to achieve emotions and illogical thought in the past. I will bring this up to the other ruling members of the thals. The way I feel is, if nothing else, this program will create enough chaos in the dalek city to give us advantage."  
  
So, we were led back to the interrogation room. After several attempts to raise Garkoe on the com, he gave up. Finally, Garkoe appeared from nowhere in the room, and was spewing all kinds of technological jargon about the information he had found on Miriel.  
  
"Shut up, Garkoe!" Shranas ordered. the hyper scientist shushed. "I'm putting these ladies in your custody."  
  
"Oh goody!" he exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down.  
  
I looked worriedly at Miriel. Garkoe happily led us to his lab. We were given the strange summary of the history of Skaro in between grovels for blood samples from the both of us. He and Alandis already had something in common! We both appeased him in this manner. What could it hurt? Not to mention, it gave us a more coherent history of Skaro. The first part of this story I already knew from the Doctor's stories. So, I amused myself with thoughts of Garkoe trying to get a blood sample out of Alandis.  
  
Garkoe went on and on as he examined our blood. So, this is the gist of it, excluding the exclamations of the oddities in our blood. The thals and the daleks had abandoned Skaro long ago, but they all got rather homesick. That was pretty good for the daleks, considering they were suppose to be emotionless. So, both groups eventually returned. The daleks had returned first, because of the war they were raging with the Movellans. Now, some of the thals never left Skaro, and they didn't intend to do so either, even when the Movellans bombed the dalek city with the germ bombs. The virus killed most of the daleks in the city, but the thals, having different chemistry than the daleks, reacted differently. The thals effected by the virus were driven insane and each generation continued the insanity. Proof positive that insanity is hereditary . . . you can get it from the daleks! These were what the thals called the psycho-thals.  
  
Some of the thals, who had abandoned Skaro, returned. They found the dalek city still inhabited and psycho-thals still running about, but they also found rebel daleks, who were more capable of allowing their presence be known since the depletion of the Empirical daleks. They had lived far enough away from the dalek city, that the virus did not carry out to them. The kaleds were discovered a bit later. They lived farther out than the rebel daleks. The kaleds were not affected by the virus either. Somewhere between the rebel daleks and the kaleds lived the mutos and the rebels of kaleds and the rebels of the thals, who denied the ways of each race and bred among themselves. They were no longer kaled of thal.  
  
No one got along with the other group of sentient beings, but territories were drawn. Since only one with the desires to wipe out everyone else on the planet were otherwise occupied . . . another words the Empirical daleks were busy with the Supreme daleks. They did not have time to wipe out this vastly occupied planet. Everyone was happy enough to annihilate anyone who trespass on their territory. Of course, everyone did individual raids on the Empirical daleks city, but none of them could work together to get rid of the common foe.  
  
Garkoe had been busy and had acquired a couple of daleks basically in tact. The thals had discovered how to disable some of the daleks, which gave the scientists such as Garkoe to study them and figure out how they ticked, therefore, figuring out to destroy them. Garkoe had five varying green blobs of daleks in glass jars - - one was an Empirical dalek mutation, one was a special weapons dalek, and lastly was the rebel dalek's rebel dalek. Garkoe was quite proud of his collection. He also had an incubator of different blood samples. He explained that this device kept the blood alive.  
  
We were talked out when Shranas came back with the decision of his superiors. They would be willing to help Mikey with his program to blend into the rebel society daleks and disrupt the Empirical daleks, under the condition that they could keep the photo of Jo. No big loss! So, I obviously agreed. Shranas and some of his guards, Garkoe, Miriel, and I went out into the woods to get back to the TARDIS. K-9 was in the computer laboratory, so that the program could be updated.  
  
Well, in route, we heard a round of laser shots and saw a bright explosion in the distance. We ran in this direction, because knowing Alandis' impatience, I had the feeling he was responsible for the ruckus.  
  
We tracked some strange foot prints, and a few body marks with multiple tentacle marks to the side. After a half hour argument with Garkoe that this was Alandis and Mikey outside of his casing and not some new species of mutants, we finally followed the tracks to a tree. I looked up the tree. All I saw was heavy dark branches and thick green leaves.  
  
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out Rassilon. His beady lavender eyes glared at me. "What!" he complained.  
  
"Go get Alandis and Mikey out of the tree."  
  
"You do it!" The good thing about Rassilon was that he made Mikey seem a pleasant acquaintance.   
  
"Will you do it for a Twinkie and a Dunkin Donut?"  
  
He scrutinized me a moment. "Make it two donuts, and you can keep the Twinkie. I don't eat junk!"  
  
"Alright."  
  
"You had better have the jelly filled kind!"  
  
The rat bounded up the tree as I got my donut stash out. I heard a startled scream come from the tree, and a body fell face down from the tree into the mud. The party gathered around my two companions. Mikey's slimy green blob was attached to Alandis' back.  
  
Garkoe looked Mikey over and poked at him. "What a fat dalek!" he commented. Mikey did a dalekian thing and bit him. Garkoe swore, pulled his bloody fingers away, and sucked on them.  
  
At this time, Rassilon landed on my head. "Donuts!" he demanded. I handed him the bag. He took it in his mouth and disappeared into my pocket once again.  
  
"I'm sorry about your companion," Shranas said.  
  
"What? Mikey? Ah, well, we'll just get him a new can. No problem," I said as I went over to Alandis.  
  
"I mean your other companion," he said.  
  
I knelt by Alandis' head. "Alandis?" I said.  
  
"Go away! I'm having a bad day!" he replied face down.  
  
"I got the thals. We're going to their city. So, quit slacking and get up!"  
"You are so sympathetic!" he muttered, as he pulled himself up painfully. His face and body were covered in blood.  
  
"You look like death warmed over," I commented.  
  
"Thank you," he replied sardonically, "I've done enough penitence for the nest hundred years!"  
"See, I told you that we would work that guilt off of you quickly," I returned.  
  
"I can't see," he said out of the blue, as he blinked at us.  
  
"I'll help you," Miriel offered, as she wrapped her arm around him carefully. Mikey made a crude noise, but he didn't try to bite her.  
  
"We must hurry if you want the dalek safe," Garkoe pointed out, "Daleks need their environmentally controlled casing to survive."  
  
So, we headed back to the city. Garkoe took an interest in Alandis. that didn't take long! The scientist whipped out the scanner machine again. It went crazy. Oh well, there was something lively about Alandis. Who would have thought it!! Garkoe's eyes went wide and showed with delight. "I can't wait to get a hold of some of your blood!" he exclaimed to my battered companion.  
  
Blind as he may have been, he turned to the scientist and gave a shrewd terrifying look. Garkoe only returned a bright grin and followed along. I suppressed the laughter.  
  
"That's a change!" I exclaimed happily. I'm certain that Alandis was glad that I didn't explicify further.  
  
After our long walk, we finally arrived back at the thal city. Alandis' sight had returned, and he gently handed Mikey's blob over to me. He was going to take up the offer of the warm bath that Shranas not so subtly hinted that we all needed. Garkoe would have happily followed Alandis for that special blood sample. Alandis gave him another vicious look, that completely missed Garkoe. He gave the bright stupid grin again. I gave a hearty yank at his lab coat and insisted that he get Mikey that new casing, before my companion became a slimy blotch.  
  
With a heavy dejected sigh, Garkoe took Mikey and me back to his lab. After opening several closets to dangerous avalanches, we finally came to Garkoe's casing collection. He had casings of every size and shape and color. There was one casing that stood out like a sore thumb. It was fashioned in tye dyes of lime green, shocking pinks, fluorescent yellows and oranges, and deep blues. Beads hung around the eyestalk and peace symbols of Earth's 60's era dominated the skirt.  
  
"This is the model with the most room," Garkoe said, "It should be rather comfortable for your slimy friend."  
  
Mikey made a crude gibbering noise.  
  
Garkoe crossed his arms. "You're in no position to complain. Be glad that I have a casing that you will fit into! What on Skaro have you been eating to get you so fat! I guess it's more like what haven't you been eating!"  
Mikey made more gibbering noises, wriggled about, shook his tentacles at him. I think Garkoe just got the dalekian form of being flipped off. Then Mikey quieted down and paused. He gibbered a question.  
  
"No, it doesn't have television. What would a dalek want with a television!"  
  
Mikey responded.  
  
"What is this . . . Slimer, and why is it so . . . why would a dalek refer to it as . . . sexy?"  
  
I was taken aback. "Don't ask!" I warned. Mikey made more squealing noises. "Oh, do pipe down! If you argue further, you will be joining Slimer!" I dumped him unceremoniously into the casing with a loud squish.  
  
Gurgling and squealing noises came from the can as Mikey worked on making himself at home. I looked at Garkoe. He just stood by with his arms crossed. Finally, the eyestalk moved to glare at us.  
  
"@#$%^&*!!! THALS CANNOT GET ANYTHING RIGHT!" he complained, "THIS CASING WILL TAKE ME A MONTH TO IMPROVE ON SO THAT I MIGHT EVEN LIVE IN IT! IT SMELLS OF A STRANGE DALEK . . . A MOST STRANGE DALEK! . . . IT SMELLS OF STRANGE SUBSTANCES . . . " There was a pause. "BUT IT IS A MOST INTERESTING SMELL."  
  
"Come on, Mikey," I said, "Let's go back to the lab."  
  
"I DO NOT TAKE ORDERS FROM AN INFERIOR SPECIES." Garkoe opened his mouth to object. I held up my hand.. The eyestalk scanned him then me. "WE RETURN TO THE LAB."  
  
"Yes, o'mighty master."  
  
Mikey led the way, I followed, Garkoe shrugged and followed me. We entered the lab. Mikey moved around the room and looked at the different specimens. I looked away from him to see Alandis leaning on Garkoe's desk. Garkoe was ecstatic and looked Alandis over thoroughly. My companion gave him one of those condescending stares.  
  
"What a remarkable recovery!" he chirped, "I must have a blood sample! Even your sight is fully restored! This is amazing! Think what this will do for thalkind! Now, all I have to do is figure out what makes you regenerate so fully!"  
  
Alandis frowned. "You don't want to pay the price," he answered.  
  
"And the diet's lousy, too!" I added. Alandis glared at me. I gave one of Garkoe's bright grins. "Oh, that reminds me. I'm still hungry. Rassilon took my dinner."  
  
Garkoe jumped up on the desk and leaned over backwards. He opened the bottom drawer. It was filled with many and various packages. he tossed me a couple of them, and he offered some to Alandis. My companion shook his head. "I've already fed."  
  
"Hey, Mikey!" I called across the room, "Are you hungry? Garkoe's got goodies!"  
Strangely, I received no answer. He tended to answer all questions, even the ones he didn't know the answer to. he'd just make something up. he normally was most prompt when food was involved. So, the three of us went across the room to him. he was staring at one of the daleks in a jar.  
  
"87-96877," Mikey said, "HE WAS ONE OF THE UNITS I SERVED WITH WHEN I WAS HERE WITH THE EMPIRE."  
  
Garkoe's eyebrows rose. "You regret?" the thal scientist remarked surprised.  
  
"WHAT IS THIS REGRET?" Mikey grated.  
  
"You miss him," Alandis explained.  
  
"BAH!" he exclaimed, "IT IS A WEAK EMOTION! DALEKS HAVE NO EMOTIONS!"  
  
"Whatever you say," I remarked.  
  
"I want a blood sample of this dalek!" prompted Garkoe, "In my 25 years I've never heard of a dalek that could feel pain over a lost comrade."  
  
I hushed him. Mikey's eyestalk shot to us. "NO BLOOD SAMPLE! I WILL HAVE NO THAL POKING AT ME!" His eyestalk turned to Alandis, "NO!" he stated with emphasis.  
  
"I'm not interested in your blood," my companion added.  
  
"But, I am!" Garkoe exclaimed, "I could put on a dark wig and pretend to be a kaled! Please! Please! Please!"  
  
"NO!' Mikey answered.  
  
"Food is usually a good bribe," I put in.  
  
"NO!" Mikey insisted.  
  
Garkoe went to his desk and pouted. I smiled. "Tell us about the dalek, who originally had this casing," I asked persuading his mind away from his failure. "It looks like a hippie dalek."  
  
"Hippie dalek!" Garkoe exclaimed, as he totally forgot about his failure. He sorted through his papers and came up with a folder of papers/ He sorted through those and came up with what he was looking for. Then he looked for a pen. He went through all the drawers of his desk, and he searched twice before he found one on the desk under a pile of paper. He quickly scribbled down my words. "Hippie dalek! What a name!" he exclaimed. He looked up at the three of us. His childish face took on a serious manner. "these daleks are a subgroup of the rebel daleks. I am not sure why they developed into this subculture. there mutation is also different. There are about 20 of them in Krama Li."  
  
Mikey looked up at me. "IT IS TYPICAL OF THE REBEL DALEKS TO NAME THEIR CITY 'HOME' IN OUR NATIVE TONGUE."  
  
"And what is the name of your city?" Garkoe asked.  
  
"PASSAH," Mikey answered totally missing the sarcasm in the thal's voice.   
  
"Empire," Garkoe translated.  
  
I shrugged. "Daleks are not known for their originality."  
  
Mikey moved on and inspected the other specimens in Garkoe's lab. "HOW MANY REBEL DALEKS ARE THERE?"  
  
"Maybe 200," Garkoe answered. "They are a disorganized bunch with a strange dalek culture. They have developed many of the lost aspects of the kaleds, such as art and music. I can't say that the things are pleasing to the eye or ear, but it is an amazing achievement for daleks. They are not as technologically advanced as any race on Skaro, except for the mutos. They have not the knowledge of space travel for one. Another thing is, they are not produced in a lab like the Empirical and Supreme daleks. Although their numbers be few, their technology less, having many splinter groups that will not work together, they survive despite the Empirical daleks and the Supreme daleks and our own efforts to destroy them. The kaleds tolerate them. The psycho thals only attack the Empirical daleks and us. The rebel daleks are too far away. The mutos make their attacks on them, but they are not organized and are not out to annihilate them. Then there are other mutated creatures, but they stay for the most part in the petrified forest. Although Skaro is fraught with dangers, they have the will to survive. I believe this was the most basic instinct that Davros bred into them. It is more basic than destroy their own kind in the midst of the destruction of another. They always keep enough of their strength hidden away to avoid complete extermination."  
  
"What are the chances of Mikey fitting in with the rebels?" I queried.  
  
Garkoe shrugged, as he watched the dalek move around the laboratory. "The rebel daleks are . . . free. they have the innovation and creativity of the kaleds in a green blob. Mikey can find a niche among them. It is harder for untainted Empirical daleks to pretend to be rebel daleks than it is for rebel daleks to pretend to be Empirical daleks." Garkoe gave a shadow of a smile. "If you succeed, we may finally have peace between the thals and the daleks."  
  
"I thought you didn't want peace," I remarked.  
  
"Shranas doesn't want peace. The war and hatred keeps his political position. Think of the scientific breakthroughs that both races would gain if we worked together. Talar would mess her pants to get into the dalek's main computer."  
  
"And you have daleks in jars," Alandis coldly pointed out.  
  
"Daleks have thals in jars."  
  
Alandis turned to me, "Shut-up!" he ordered. I didn't say anything.  
  
"Where is the program?" Mikey queried.  
  
"Talar has it. I don't know anything about programming. I am a biologist. I pride myself on my bloodwork," Garkoe answered.  
  
"So does Alandis," I commented.  
  
Garkoe clamped his hands together. "We do have commons! Shall I show you my special collection. I can keep the samples alive in an incubator. It is much more fun to watch the thingies kicking around than with them just sitting there. He went to the cabinet. the horrifying scream even made Mikey cringe. I looked at the completely destroyed scientist weeping on the counter of the empty cabinet.  
  
I looked at Alandis, who put on his most innocent look. I went to Garkoe and said, "Cheer up. You still have three specimens to draw from. Miriel and I will let you probe our blood again. I'm certain given the circumstances, Alandis will be generous and give you a sample this time."  
  
My red haired companion shook his head 'no'. I nodded 'yes'. "You will. Anyway, what can it hurt? Besides, he may find a solution to your problem."  
  
"I seriously doubt that."  
  
Garkoe looked up at him hopefully with bog sorrowful puppy eyes. Alandis grimaced. "Not too much," Alandis relented, "To give up my blood is a very precious thing."  
  
"I won't take too much! I promise!" So, Garkoe got his blood sample out of my blood sucking companion. Miriel came into the room. She was escorted by two guards. Alandis blushed and pulled his arm away from Garkoe. The thal was going to complain, but he got what he was after and went happily about his studies. The guards left her without a word.  
  
"And did you get into a bit of trouble?" I asked.  
  
"Well," she answered, "I was only trying to tidy up a few offices along the way, and . . ."  
  
At that moment the alarm went off. Alandis, Miriel, and I started at the sound. Garkoe ignored it. he was otherwise occupied.  
  
"What is that alarm?" Alandis asked.  
  
"Oh, it's nothing. It just sounds an hour before sundown. The mutos tend to get into the city after dark, and we all must hide from them," the thal answered without looking up.  
  
"KILL THE MUTOS!" Mikey stated.  
  
"Too many of them," Garkoe answered, "Hey! This is most extraordinaire!" he exclaimed, "I've never seen anything like this blood before! The life force seems to be controlled by an outside force! The blood itself seems to be already dead, but this energy gives it life and consumes itself."   
  
"My master sleeps. He still drains life from me, but his need is not great yet," Alandis answered, "I am free for the time being."  
  
Miriel took his hand. "What will happen when he wakes?" she asked.  
  
"We will fight for my control," he answered, " I grow stronger while I am awake. the experience strengthens me. He remains stable as he sleeps. When the time comes, he will call his minions to him. some will die, because his hunger is great, but the rest will fight for him."  
  
"Oh, do go on," Garkoe enthused.  
  
"That is all you need to know," Alandis replied.  
  
Miriel looked puzzled. "Shouldn't we do something or go somewhere because of the mutos?" she asked.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Garkoe chirped, "Let me get my things, and we'll go to my place."  
  
"What about K-9?" Miriel asked.  
  
"Talar will take good care of him," Garkoe answered.  
  
After a half an hour of getting his disorganized mess together and packed, we set off into the deserted streets. The sun had just set. Garkoe gasped and hurried us on. He led us up to one of the brightly lit buildings. He took us into a hallway of bright lights and concrete. We went up an elevator to the 11th floor and to an apartment. Garkoe fumbled with a key card, as Alandis and I tried to get Mikey up the five steps leading to the door. Suddenly, all the lights went out. Garkoe uttered a thal curse. Still his key card didn't work. An emergency light flickered on, but it was still quite dim. We could see shadows approaching us. Garkoe had a stronger curse for the moment. 


	3. Holiday on Skaro Part 3

Since I have some complaint about this chapter . . . well, one reviewer didn't like it, (Proof positive that I read my reviews, and I will get around to your stories in the near future, since the holdiays are almost over.) I feel I need to do a little explaining. This chapter is in in captials, because Mikey is telling the story at this point. Each of the Rodent's companions were suppose to tell a chapter. Mikey, being a dalek, speaks in capitals for several reasons. One is, at the time I originally wrote this, all capitols looked more computerlike. Number two, capitals suggest a superior speech. We all knw how daleks are on that point. Point 3, and yes, he is shouting the whole thing. Daleks do a lot shouting (Vogons are a distant relation, you know). Hey! Have you ever heard a dalek say anything quietly??????  
  
HOLIDAY ON SKARO PART 3  
  
WE RETURNED TO SKARO. THIS WAS MY PRIMARY MISSION. NOTHING THAT THAT IRRITATING TIME LADY THE RODENT SIS WAS SUCCESSFUL. IT WAS NOT BAD ENOUGH THAT I TRAVELED WITH A DITZY TIME LADY, BUT I ALSO HAD TO TRAVEL WITH A BACKWARD COMPUTER DOG, A MALFUNCTIONING TIME MACHINE, A SELF RIGHTEOUS VAMPIRE (WHO FAR TOO OFTEN PUT ME AT TEMPORARY SET BACKS OF BRUTE STRENGTH. HIS INTELLIGENCE COULD NEVER MATCH MY OWN.), AND A HUMANOID CREATURE OF UNKNOWN ORIGINS (BUT QUITE A GOOD COOK. THIS QUALITY APPEALED TO THE ORGANIC SIDE OF ME.). OUT OF LACK OF SUPERIOR INTELLECT, THAT TIME LADY, THE RODENT, DECIDED TO PUT THE THALS AT MY DISPOSAL. I WAS OPPOSED TO THIS IDEA FROM THE START. K-9 ONLY WAGGED HIS TAIL. K-9 AGREED WITH ANYTHING. NO INCENTIVE REQUIRED.  
  
THROUGH A DEVASTATING DISASTER, I FOUND MY ORGANIC FORM IN A MOST INFERIOR AND DEGRADING CASING OF A LONG DEAD DALEK. JUST WHEN I CAME TO BELIEVE THAT THINGS COULD NOT GET WORSE, I FOUND MYSELF ON THE STOOP OF A THAL'S APARTMENT SURROUNDED BY MUTOS!  
  
GARKOE, THE WITLESS THAL ALLY, TRIED DESPERATELY TO OPEN THE APARTMENT DOOR WITH A KEY CARD. AFTER THE FIRST COUPLE OF ATTEMPTS HE SHOULD HAVE REALIZED THAT HIS FUTURE ATTEMPTS WOULD BE FUTILE. LIKE THE INFERIOR CREATURE THAT ALL THALS HAVE FOREVER BEEN, HE KEPT TRYING WITH A FEW OTHER ADJUSTMENTS . . . CURSING AND POUNDING. WHAT A WASTE OF ENERGY1 THIS LEFT OUR SURVIVAL TO THAT SMUG VAMPIRE ALANDIS AND ME WITH MY VAST SUPERIOR DALEK TECHNOLOGY.  
  
I MOVED BEFORE MY FRANTIC INFERIOR HUMANOID COMPANIONS, TOOK AIM WITH MY BLASTER, AND I HIT THE CONTROLS, THAT I BELIEVED WAS THE BLASTER CONTROLS. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE BLASTER CONTROLS. WITH THIS DALEK, IT WAS NOT A CERTAINTY. MOST DALEK CASINGS WERE MADE THE SAME WAY. THIS DALEK WAS A REBEL, AND HE OBVIOUSLY HAD DONE SOME REMODELING. THE BLASTER DID REACT WITH MY TOUCH. THIS THING MALFUNCTIONED. INSTEAD OF A DEADLY RAY OF ENERGY, LITTLE PINK AND WHITE FLOWERS POPPED OUT. THIS WAS THE PROPER PLACE AND TIME TO SHRIEK A CURSE!  
  
THE FLOWERS, FLOATING DOWN ON THE MUTOS, DID CAUSE A REACTION. THE MUTOS STOPPED THEIR PURSUITS OF US AND DID AN ORGANIC THING. THEY GAVE GREAT WIDE SMILES AND BEGAN TO LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. THIS GAVE ALANDIS TO DISPOSE OF THEM. MEANWHILE, GARKOE CONTINUED WITH THE LOCK. THE RODENT AND MIRIEL TRIED TO HELP THE DISGRUNTLED THAL.  
  
"What this number?" MIRIEL ASKED AS SHE POINTED TO THE FOUR DIGIT NUMBER ON THE CARD.  
  
"My apartment number," HE ANSWERED.  
  
"Shouldn't it match the number on the door?" SHE ASKED.  
  
GARKOE GAVE ONE OF THE HUMANOID EXPRESSIONS OF STUPIDITY. "This isn't my apartment!" HE USELESSLY EXCLAIMED.  
  
I WORKED ON THE CONTROLS OF THE CASING AND UPPED MY BLASTER TO ITS NEXT LEVEL. THE MUTOS APPROACHED AGAIN. I FIRED. THE MUTOS PAUSED AND BEGAN TO SNEEZE ON THE BUBBLES THAT ISSUED FORTH. ALANDIS TOOK THEM OUT AGAIN.  
  
THE RODENT PLAYED WITH HER YO-YO, THAT SHE HAD MANAGED TO FIND IN HER POCKETS. GARKOE SLAPPED HIS FOREHEAD. I WANTED TO HIT HIM WITH SOMETHING HARDER. HE EXCLAIMED, "Talar!"  
  
HE PRESSED A BUTTON ON THE DOOR, THAT RESPONDED WITH A SOFT MELODY. THE THIRD GROUP OF MUTOS APPROACHED. I MOVED MY BLASTER TO FULL POWER AND SHOT. THE MUTOS SWAYED AND STAGGERED. THERE WAS A HARDY CHORUS OF "WHOAAAAH!", THEN THEY COLLAPSED IN A PILE. THEY WERE NOT OBLITERATED, BUT THEY WERE IN A FIRM STUPOR. THEY WOULD GIVE US NO TROUBLE.  
  
A COUPLE OF MINUTES PASSED. THE MUTANTS DID NOT RECOVER FROM MY BLAST. THEY CONTINUED TO ROLL ABOUT WITH SMILES AND LAUGHTER. HOW UNUSUAL? WHAT WAS THIS HIGH LEVEL ON THIS GUN? THE DOOR TO APARTMENT FINALLY SLIDE OPEN. A THAL WOMAN, IN CASUAL CLOTHES, CAUTIOUSLY LOOKED AT US. K-9 MADE THE APPROPRIATE ELECTRONICAL NOISES FROM BEHIND HER.  
  
"What are you doing at my door?" SHE ASKED AS SHE BLOCKED THE ENTRANCE.  
  
"I . . . uh . . . well, . . . you see, . . . " GARKOE BEGAN AS HIS FACE TURNED SEVERAL SHADES OF RED.  
  
"He made a boo-boo, and now we are here," ANSWERED THE RODENT.  
  
"This is most irregular. I don't just let anyone into my apartment!" SHE ANSWERED.  
  
ALANDIS TURNED ME ABOUT SO THAT I COULD NOT BLAST THIS THAL (AND TAKE GARKOE OUT WITH HER).  
  
"We are K-9's owners," MIRIEL ANSWERED.  
  
"Yeah, we came to see him," THE RODENT ADDED, "He's a bit arachnophobic, and he needs our support."  
  
"What's this arachnophobic?" SHE ASKED.  
  
"Don't worry," ALANDIS ANSWERED, "It's not contagious, but we do need to administer treatment right away."  
  
SHE STOOD UP AND SHOOK OUT HER LONG BLONDE HAIR. I WAS NOT SURE OF THE MEANING OF THIS ACTION, BUT GARKOE HAD A MOST UNUSUAL REACTION. HE TURNED A BIT REDDER AND PASSED OUT. THE FIVE OF US LOOKED DOWN AT HIM. ALANDIS SIGHED AND SLUNG HIM OVER HIS UNCONSCIOUS BODY OVER HIS SHOULDER. I, FOR ONE, WAS WILLING TO LEAVE HIM OUT ON THE STOOP.  
  
SO, WE ALL GAINED ENTRANCE TO HER APARTMENT WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY. MY EYESTALK TURNED TO THE RODENT. "WHEN DID K-9 BECOME AFRAID OF SPIDERS?"  
  
"I didn't know he was afraid of spiders. What gave you that idea?"  
  
ALANDIS SHOOK HIS HEAD. "Nevermind," HE SAID.  
  
"WHERE IS MY PROGRAM FOR THE DALEK CITY?" I ASKED STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.  
  
"Oh!" TALAR EXCLAIMED, "Come. I'll show you. I've been busily at work on it. What an excellent idea of Garkoe's to bring you to my apartment. I can now confirm the proper purpose you had in mind with this program. Not to mention, you can teach me about rebel dalek programming."  
  
"I DO NOT WANT A THAL TINKERING WITH MY PROGRAMMING! THIS CASING IS BAD ENOUGH!"  
  
"Ah, sure you do! We may be able to discover all kinds of goodies together!" SHE LOOKED AROUND AT THE OTHER FOUR. GARKOE HAD UNFORTUNATELY WOKE UP. "Make yourselves comfortable. There are insty meals in the cupboard."  
  
"Somehow that doesn't sound very appetizing," MUTTERED MIRIEL.  
  
"Food!" EXCLAIMED THE RODENT AS SHE HAPPILY RAN TO THE CUPBOARD AND CAME UP WITH A HALF GALLON JUG OF CAPSULES. SHE PULLED BACK WITH A FROWN.  
  
"Add water," GARKOE INFORMED HER.  
  
"Oh," SHE ANSWERED. SHE OPENED THE JAR AND TOOK IT TO THE WATER FACET. SHE FILLED THE JAR WITH WATER. AN OMINOUS NOISE FILLED THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AN EXPLOSION. I TURNED MY EYESTALK BACK TO HER. GOOP WAS SPLATTERED EVERYWHERE OVER THE ENTIRE KITCHEN AND THE RODENT. SHE LICKED HER FINGERS AND SAID, "Not bad."  
  
ALANDIS SMACKED HIS FOREHEAD WITH THE PALM OF HIS HAND IN EXASPERATION. RASSILON RAT MADE ONE OF HIS GRAND APPEARANCES. WITH AN EXCLAMATION OF PURE JOY, HE JUMPED INTO THE ACCUMULATED MESS AND ATE THE SLOP.  
  
MIRIEL GAVE A FAINT SMILE AND BEGAN TO CLEAN THE MESS. ALANDIS ASSISTED HER. BEING THE SUPERIOR SPECIES THAT I AM, I SLITHERED OUT OF MY CASING AND JOINED RASSILON ON THE FLOOR. OUT OF MY FIVE REGULAR COMPANIONS, HE WAS BY FAR THE CLOSEST TO MY SUPREME INTELLECT.  
  
GARKOE GAVE A NERVOUS SMILE AND LOOKED TO TALAR. "They ae aliens, after all."  
  
FINALLY, EVERYONE, INCLUDING RASSILON AND MYSELF, WERE SATED. I CRAWLED BACK INTO MY CASING. IN A RELAXED STATE, I WAS WILLING TO LET MY BANQUET DIGEST WHILE THE REST FINISHED THEIR TASK AT HAND. THE RODENT LEFT FOR A SHOWER.  
  
AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS OF WORK, TALAR HAD THE AUDACITY TO BANG ON THE LID OF MY CASING. I BLASTED HER WITH THE FLOWER POWER. SHE SMILED AND SUPPRESSED THE LAUGHTER . I WOULD HATE TO USE THE MAXIMUM RAY ON HER. I DID WANT INFORMATION ON MY PROGRAM. SHE MOTIONED FOR ME TO COME INTO THE COMPUTER ROOM.  
  
"I would think your best bet would be to contact the rebel daleks. Your casing will serve you well in this," SHE TOLD ME.  
  
"DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY PURPOSE?! INFILTRATING THE DALEK REBEL CITY IS THE CORE OF MY PLAN, YOU @#$%^&* THAL!"  
  
"Other than vast death, devastation, and domination over what's left."  
  
"A GOOD SMORGASBORD WOULD NOT HURT MATTERS ANY!" I ANSWERED.   
  
"You just ate!"  
  
"THAT WAS A MERE APPETIZER!"  
  
GARKOE SMILED. "I see how he got to be a fat dalek."  
"SHUT UP, THAL!" I RETORTED.  
  
TALAR SHOOK HER HEAD. "Enough of all the nonsense," SHE SAID. NEVERMIND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT. SHE TURNED TO ME. "It would be quite helpful if you would interface with the computer with the computer of your shell."  
  
'THIS CASING IS MOST IRREGULAR. INTERFACING COULD CAUSE SERIOUS DAMAGE TO MY ORGANIC SELF." ALTHOUGH I HAD NOT INTERFACED WITH THE COMPUTERS, THE BASIC LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS, SPEECH SYSTEMS, AND WEAPONRY SYSTEMS WERE AVAILABLE TO ME. THESE WERE THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL ELEMENTS OF DALEK LIFE. I DID NOT NEED THE COMPUTER FOR THESE. I JUST FELT THAT THE INFORMATION THAT THIS DALEK HAD TO OFFER WAS NOT OF ANY PRACTICAL USE.  
  
"He's just scared," REMARKED ALANDIS FROM THE DOORWAY.  
  
"I AM A DALEK. DALEKS FEAR NO MUTATED INFERIOR DALEKS."  
  
"Yeah, right!"  
  
"I CAN PROVE MY POINT WITH ONE SERIOUS BLAST."  
  
ALANDIS LAUGHED. "With your almighty flower power?"  
  
"I CAN EASILY SHIFT MY LASER TO MAXIMUM."  
  
"I am not afraid of you. I was blasted twice within my first day on Skaro. Nothing you can do to me will frighten me."  
  
"I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT."  
  
TALAR CLEARED HER THROAT. "We know little of dalek culture," THE THAL COMMENTED, "We know even less about the rebel daleks. I have been able to access some information through my own computers from the Empirical City, but the rebel daleks have less logic, so their codes are rather hard to crack than normal dalek codes of entry. With the lack of proper data, I cannot guarantee you safe passage into the dalek city."  
  
"I WILL NOT BE MISTAKEN FOR AN EMPIRICAL DALEK IN SUCH A CASING!"  
  
"I'm not sure the normal rebel daleks would accept such a casing," SHE COMMENTED.  
  
"EXPLAIN."  
  
"Your casing suggests a sub-group of the rebel daleks. The bright colors and strange symbols seem to be unique to this dalek. We have never captured another one such as this one. Most of the rebel daleks have standard colors, red, black, or grey."  
  
"I WILL ACQUIRE A NEW CASING. I REFUSE TO BE TAKEN AS A JOKE. SHUT UP, ALANDIS!"  
  
"Ooooooo! I tremble in fear," THE VAMPIRE ANSWERED.  
  
"Rebel daleks go by names, not numbers."  
  
"THE RODENT CALLS ME MIKEY."  
  
"You accept this?"  
  
"IT IS EASIER FOR THE HUMANOIDS TO SAY AND REMEMBER. IT IS THEREFORE EFFICIENT."  
  
"I have made several adjustments to your program. I could possibly download it into the Empirical Daleks main computer if I knew the pass words and the routes."  
  
"I PLAN TO GIVE THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS A NEW DIRECTIVE. I DO NOT PLAN TO BETRAY THEM TO OUR ARCH ENEMIES THE THALS."  
  
"Besides, he doesn't know it or have the ability to find out anyway," ALANDIS ADDED, "He's a scout dalek."  
  
"WHAT MAKES YOU SO KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT MY STATUS, SMARTY PANTS?" I RETURNED.  
  
"I dislike computers and technology, but I am not incapable. Sturd kept records of us," HE ANSWERED, "I destroyed them before we left. It would not do for the sontarans to know about either of our races."  
  
"I AM A SUPERIOR SCOUT!" I CONCLUDED.  
  
"How do you plan to establish your program?" TALAR ASKED.  
  
"I WILL MAKE CONTACT WITH THE REBEL DALEKS. WE WILL INFILTRATE THE EMPIRICAL DALEK HEADQUARTERS. I WILL DISTRACT THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS WITH MY SPECIAL VIDEO. THE REBEL DALEKS WILL INSTALL THE PROGRAM."  
  
"The rebel daleks are far less advanced than the Empirical Daleks. They may not know how to get into the computers of the Empirical Daleks, muchless load a program into it," SHE REPLIED.  
  
"THALS ARE LESS ADVANCED THAN DALEKS," I RETURNED.  
  
"I don't know about the truth of that statement with the rebel daleks, but you will see. Will this video be of interest to the Empirical Daleks?"  
  
"AFFIRMATIVE AND DOUBLE AFFIRMATIVE. THE RODENT TOOK US TO AN INTERESTING PLACE CALLED VAROS, WHERE I PURCHASED THIS SPECIAL VIDEO. TWICE EVEN. IT IS FOOTAGE OF THE TORTURE AND DEATH OF THE DALEKS' ARCH ENEMY THE DOCTOR."  
  
"And did you do this to the Doctor?"  
  
THE SHOCK AND GRIEF ON HER FACE MADE THIS WHOLE DAY WORTHWHILE. "THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS DO NOT KNOWN THAT I DID NOT."  
  
"The Doctor is truly dead?"  
  
I HATED TO BREAK THE MOMENT. "NEGATIVE."  
"But the video?"  
  
"IT APPEARS TO SHOW HIS TORTURE AND HIS EXECUTION. I HAVE RECENTLY SEEN THE DOCTOR AFTER HIS ENDURANCE OF THIS VIDEO. WE ATE TOGETHER. HE IS NOT WHAT THE COMPUTER BANK HAVE TOLD ME. WE SHARE A SIMILAR INTEREST IN FOOD. STILL, THE VIDEO PROVES ENTERTAINING. SO DOES THE ONE OF ALANDIS' EXECUTION."  
  
ALANDIS MADE A CRUDE GESTURE.  
  
"The Doctor is a Thal hero."  
  
"AND THAT IS SUPPOSE TO BE A GOOD THING?"  
  
SHE SHOOK HER HEAD. SHE PUT THE PROGRAM ON A DISC. SHE GAVE ME THIS DISC AND A CRUDE MAP OF THE REBEL DALEK CITY. THIS COULD PROVE USEFUL. FOR A BEING WHO CLAIMED TO KNOW LITTLE OF THIS DALEK CITY, SHE PROVED TO BE MOST INFORMATIVE. I MOVED BACK TO THE LIVING ROOM. MIRIEL WAS SLEEPING PEACEFULLY ON THE COUCH. THE RODENT WAS ON THE FLOOR WITH ONE FOOT UNDER A CHAIR AND THE OTHER OVER MIRIEL'S ANKLES ON THE COUCH. SHE SNORED LOUDLY WITH RASSILON ON HER STOMACH CURLED UP AND ASLEEP. K-9 WAS HAVING AN ANIMATED COMPUTER CONVERSATION WITH THE MICROWAVE. THIS WOULD NOT SEEM SO UNUSUAL, EXCEPT THE COMPUTER HAD NO COMPUTER BRAIN. OF COURSE, THIS WAS K-9. HE NEEDED NO INTELLECTUAL RESPONSE. GARKOE FOUND A CHAIR AND FOOT STOOL, WHERE HE DROPPED INTO AND FELL PROMPTLY ASLEEP. ALANDIS FOUND A DARK CORNER AND SAT IN MEDITATION. TALAR WENT TO HER BED. SINCE ALL WAS SAID AND DONE FOR THE DAY, I SHUT ALL SYSTEMS DOWN.  
  
WITH MUCH CONVINCING, THREATS, AND MY DALEK SUPERIORITY, MY HELPERS WERE CONVINCED THAT THE BEST WAY FOR THE JOB TO BE DONE RIGHT WOULD BE FOR ME TO GO ALONE. HOW WOULD THEY THINK THE DALEKS WOULD GREET THEM. I MERELY TOLERATE THEM. IT WAS MOST INADVISABLE FOR ME TO BE SEEN IN A DALEK CITY WITH INFERIOR HUMANOIDS. SO, TALAR AND GARKOE, ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE CREW LED ME TO THE MOUTH OF A CAVE. WE AGREED TO MEET BACK HERE IN THREE DAYS TIME.  
  
KRAMA LI, THE REBEL DALEK LAY SEVERAL MILES UNDERGROUND. THE PATH WAS SOMEWHAT MECHANICALLY TRODDEN. I MANAGED WITH LITTLE DIFFICULTY. I CAME TO THE MAIN GATE. TWO GUARDS STOOD, ONE TO EACH SIDE OF THE GATE. THEY WERE IN RED CASINGS. THIS COLOR WAS A SYMBOL OF AUTHORITY. MANY THINGS WERE DIFFERENT IN KRAMA LI FROM PASSAH, BUT THE COLOR COORDINATION WAS THE SAME SO FAR.  
  
ONE OF THE MANY STRANGE . . . EMOTIONS . . . WASHED OVER MY BEING SINCE I HAVE MET THE RODENT. SINCE I HAVE BEEN . . . CONTAMINATED BY WEAK EMOTIONS, I HAVE NOT MET ANOTHER  
  
LIVE DALEK. I WAS PLEASED WITH THE FEEL OF THIS EMOTION. IT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN THE BAG OF TWELVE WASTE CASTLE HAMBURGERS I GOT LAST WEEK! I SUPPRESSED THE . . . JOY. I HELD ONTO MY DALEKHOOD. AS A MEMBER OF THE SUPREME RACE OF THE UNIVERSE, THIS WAS MY DUTY.  
  
"AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" ONE OF THE DALEK GUARDS DEMANDED.  
  
"I HAVE RECEIVED SOME DAMAGE FROM THE MUTOS. I HAVE DONE SOME REPAIRS. I RETURN HOME."  
  
"YOU TALK STRANGELY FOR THE UNDERGROWTH OF SOCIETY," REMARKED THE SECOND DALEK.  
  
"I AM STILL IN THE PROCESS OF REPAIRS."  
  
THE TWO GUARDS RELAYED MESSAGES PRIVATELY BETWEEN THEMSELVES IN SILENT COMPUTER LANGUAGE. I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THEIR LANGUAGE, AND I WAS STILL HESITANT ABOUT MERGING WITH THE COMPUTER BANKS OF THIS CASING. IN THE EMPIRE, ALL DALEKS COULD ACCESS ALL OTHER DALEK MESSAGES. THERE WAS NO NEED FOR SECRECY FROM EACH OTHER. WE WERE OF ONE MIND, ONE PURPOSE. WE WOULD DO ANYTHING THAT THE EMPEROR DALEK WOULD ORDER, FOR HE WAS THE WHOLE MEANING OF DALEKHOOD. I FOUND THESE TWO DALEKS' REACTION STRANGE. THERE WAS NO REAL NEED FOR COMPUTER LANGUAGE. MY HUMANOID COMPANIONS WERE NOT WITH ME.  
  
"WE WILL ALLOW YOU TO ENTER THE CITY AGAIN. THIS IS BECAUSE WE NEED AS MANY DALEKS AS POSSIBLE TO SURVIVE. WE MAY HELP YOUR DEGENERATE WAYS YET. DAVROS ONLY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR SOCIETY TO CREATE SUCH A DEGENERATION."  
  
I WAS ALLOWED TO PASS BETWEEN THE TWO DALEKS INTO THE REBEL CITY. AH, CIVILIZATION AT LAST! HERE, AT LEAST, EVERYTHING WAS CREATED AT THE PROPER ANGLES. SHINING METAL WAS THE SUBSTANCE OF THE WALKS AND THE BUILDINGS. THE LIGHTS WERE DIM. DALEKS DO NOT NEED MUCH LIGHT LIKE THE FRAIL HUMANOIDS. WE DO NOT EXPEND MUCH ENERGY INTO LIGHTING. ALTHOUGH THERE WAS A VAST FAMILIARITY WITH THE DESIGN AND SUBSTANCE, SOME OF THE STRUCTURES I DID NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND. I BELIEVE IT WAS ATTEMPT AT ART. THE HUM OF MACHINERY PERMEATED THROUGHOUT THE METALLIC STREETS. OTHER SOUNDS MINGLED WITH THAT HUM . . . THE SOUND OF OTHER DALEKS AND MOVEMENT . . . BANGS AND CLANKS. THERE WAS ALSO THE SOUND THAT THE RODENT REFERRED TO AS MUSIC. NONE OF THIS "MUSIC" SHE EVER LISTENED TO HAD A PRACTICAL PURPOSE.  
  
I ROLLED INTO THE CITY AND FOUND A FEW DALEKS MOVING ABOUT IN THE CITY. NONE OF THEM HAD THE ABSURD CASING THAT I HAD. THEY LOOKED LIKE NORMAL DALEKS EXCEPT FOR THEIR SIZE. CASINGS WERE A STANDARD FOUR FEET TALL AND THREE AND A QUARTER WIDE. SOME OF THESE DALEKS WERE SMALLER THAN THE STANDARD FOUR FEET AND PROPORTIONALLY WIDE. THEY RANGED FROM THE STANDARD SIZE TO ONE FOOT TALL AND PROPORTIONALLY WIDE. SOME OF THESE SMALLER DALEKS WERE ACCOMPANIED BY THE LARGER DALEKS. HOW STRANGE. AT FIRST, I THOUGHT THAT THESE SMALLER DALEKS WERE SUBSERVIENT TO THE LARGER ONES. AFTER I THOUGHT ABOUT MY TRAVELS WITH THE RODENT AND WHERE I WAS, I SOON REALIZED THAT THESE WERE UNDEVELOPED DALEKS. THEY WERE CHILDREN DALEKS SO TO SPEAK. THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS ALWAYS WAITED FOR THE YOUNG DALEKS TO REACH FULL MATURITY BEFORE A CASING WAS GIVEN, BUT THE SPAWN WERE MINDLESSLY RUTHLESS WITHOUT ANY LOGIC. THESE WERE CHILDREN LIKE THE HUMANOID CHILDREN. I ALSO SAW UNSHELLED DALEKS. I CHECKED THE RADIATION READINGS ON MY INSTRUMENTS. THESE WERE AUTOMATIC READINGS. I DID NOT HAVE TO ACCESS THE COMPUTER FOR THESE READINGS. THE RADIATION HERE WAS QUITE HIGH AND MADE THE PERFECT LIVING ENVIRONS FOR DALEKS.  
  
THE FURTHER I TRAVELED INTO THE CITY, THE STRANGER IT BECAME. I FOUND SPRAY PAINTINGS ON THE WALLS. THEY WERE OF THE MOST PECULIAR SUBJECTS. WORDS WERE SCRAWLED ACROSS ANOTHER WALL. THEY READ IN DISTORTED DALEKIAN "KREVAR WAS HERE 15.39.174321", "DAVETT RULES". "WAY COOL DAVETT'S SQUEALS LIGHT UP MY TENTACLES", AND "WAVY DAVETT, HATCH MY SPAWN, 629". I HAD TO LOOK AT THESE FOR A LONG TIME. I CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THIS IS WHAT THE RODENT REFERRED TO AS GRAFFITI.  
  
THIS LINE ABOUT "DAVETT RULES" WAS MY MOST INFORMATIVE CLUE. I MUST FIND THIS DAVETT. HE WAS THE MOST OBVIOUS RULER OF THIS STRANGE SOCIETY.  
  
I MOVED FURTHER INTO THE CITY. I FOUND TWO DALEKS SHOOTING SPRAY PAINT ACROSS THE STREET AT EACH OTHER. ONE SHOT RED PAINT FROM HIS GUN CANNON, AND THE OTHER SHOT BLUE. THE BUILDINGS SHOWS SIGNS OF THE OVERSHOTS. THERE WAS SIGNS OF EARLIER SUCH BATTLES WITH OTHER COLORS. BOTH DALEKS WERE SPLOTCHED WITH EACH OTHER'S COLOR. THERE WAS SIGNS OF DRY GREEN PAINT UNDERNEATH THIS NEW COAT ON EACH DALEK.  
  
"WHERE CAN i FIND DAVETT?" I ASKED.  
  
THE SPRAY PAINT WAR ENDED. THE EYESTALKS OF BOTH DALEKS SWUNG TOWARDS ME. "HEY, MOST BODACIOUS BUD, MOST DAR FLUNG TUBULAR GUISE. PART OF DAVETT'S SWING PATCH, YEAH?' THE RED BLUE PAINT SHOOTING DALEK EXCLAIMED.  
  
"WHERE WILL I FIND DAVETT'S SWING PATCH?" I ASKED.  
  
"HEY!" SAID THE BLUE RED PAINT SPRAYING DALEK, "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SUPER SWIRLY LINGO, DALEK BUD?"  
  
"I HAVE SUSTAINED DAMAGE. I AM WORKING ON REPAIRS AT THIS TIME." THE TWO DALEKS MOVED IN ON ME AND CIRCLED AROUND ME. I WAS TEMPTED TO CHANCE INTERFACE WITH THE COMPUTER. I COULD NOT BE FAST ENOUGH TO SAVE MYSELF FROM THESE TWO DALEKS IF THEY CHOSE TO KILL ME. "I HAVE BEEN AWAY FROM THE CITY FOR A LONG TIME. I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BY MUTOS AND THALS," I ADDED.  
  
"WERE YOU OUT COMMUNING WITH YOUR INNER MOST SELF AND THE SPIRIT OF SKARO WERE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT THE GRAND PLANS THAT THE GREAT DAVROS HAD IN MIND WHEN HE CREATED THE DALEK RACE? WERE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT THE MEANING OF OUR INDIVIDUALITY THAT THE GREAT LIBERATOR THE DOCTOR GAVE US TO SEARCH FOR?"   
  
I WAS TAKEN ABACK. WHAT A COMBINATION OF CONTRASTS OF ICONS. DAVROS WAS HELD IN GREAT ESTEEM BY THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS. AFTER ALL, HE WAS OUR EMPEROR. THE DOCTOR WAS OUR ARCH ENEMY AND WAS TO BE EXTERMINATED ON SIGHT BY ORDERS OF THE EMPEROR.. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT THE SUPREME DALEK DID NOT HAVE THE SAME COMMAND. THESE DALEKS HELD BOTH BEINGS IN HIGH ESTEEM! "YOU MAY SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN SEEKING MY INDIVIDUALITY." I SOUGHT MY FAULTY ORGANIC MEMORY. I REMEMBERED ONE OF THE RODENT'S USELESS PRATTLES THAT GOT US THROUGH A TIGHT SITUATION. "I WAS TOLD BY THE VOICE IN THE HEAVENS THAT I SHOULD SEEK DAVETT. DAVETT WAS THE ANSWER THAT I SEEK."  
  
"TUBULAR! FAR OUT ZEN, MAN!" ANSWERED THE RED PAINTED DALEK, "DAVETT IS ONE GROOVY DALEK. I KNEW HE HAD ALL THE ANSWERS. HE OFTEN RELATES HIS GREAT SPEWS OF WISDOM AT THE GNARLY NUTS AND BOLTS SWING FLING PARLOR."  
  
"IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME," I ANSWERED, "AND MY MEMORY CIRCUITS ARE FAULTY AND DAMAGED." I REMEMBERED A LINE FROM THE RODENT HAD SAID ABOUT ALANDIS AND ME TO A STRANGER, WHO WAS OBVIOUSLY PUT OFF BY MY SUPERIOR RACE. "I HAVE SUFFERED SUNSTROKE IN THE WASTELANDS." OF COURSE, I FOUND THE STATEMENT INVALID FOR BOTH ALANDIS AND MYSELF. THE SUN HAD NO EFFECT THROUGH MY CASING, AND NOTHING AFFECTED ALANDIS. "REFRESH MY MEMORY OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF THIS SPECIAL PARLOR."  
  
"SWING DOWN THE TOASTED SWIRLY WHIRLY AVENUE, THEN FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. YOU CAN'T MISS IT, DAL."  
  
ALL THE TIME I FOUGHT TO KEEP MY SANITY DURING MY ADVENTURES WITH THE RODENT, AND I DISCOVERED THAT THESE DALEKS WERE NOT QUITE ALL THERE EITHER. HOW COULD I KEEP MY SANITY WHEN MY FELLOW DALEKS HAD ALREADY WAVED IT BYE BYE A LONG TIME AGO. THERE WAS NOTHING FOR IT. I WAS NO LONGER AN EMPIRICAL DALEK.  
  
I MOVED ON DOWN THE STREET INTO THE CITY UNTIL A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF STREET CROSSED MY PATH. IT WAS PAINTED WITH RED, WHITE, AND GREEN IN A WAVE PATTERN. I LOOKED TO THE LEFT. THE BUILDINGS WERE PAINTED IN THE SAME DESIGN. IT APPEARED AS THOUGH THEY JUST ROSE UP FROM THE GROUND. THE DESIGNS OF THE STREET DID NOT BREAK FOR THE BUILDINGS. THE WAVE CONTINUED ON UP THE BUILDINGS IN THE SAME HORIZONTAL PATTERNS. EVERY ONCE AND AWHILE, THE WAVE BECAME A GREAT CIRCLING DESIGN. THIS ALL HAD NO LOGICAL PURPOSE THAT I COULD DISCERN. DOORWAYS WERE HARD TO FIND DUE TO THE LACK OF THE BREAK IN PATTERN. ONE OF THE DESIGNS MOVED. I TURNED MY EYESTALK AWAY FROM THE OPTICAL ILLUSION, THEN I TURNED BACK. MORE OF THE PATTERN MOVED. IT TOOK ME A LITTLE WHILE TO REALIZE THE PATTERNS WERE ACTUALLY MOVING, BECAUSE THE DALEKS HERE WERE PAINTED THE SAME AS THE STREET AND BUILDINGS.  
  
TO THE RIGHT, I SAW THE SAME DISORDER AND SIMILAR DALEKS. BUT IN A DIFFERENT COLOR SCHEME. THE STREET SIGN TO THE LEFT READ IN COMPUTER DIGITAL LETTERS "THE TOASTED SWIRLY WHIRLY AVENUE". THE SIGN TO THE RIGHT READ "THE GNARLY SWIRLY WHIRLY ROAD". I MOVED ONTO THE LEFT ROAD.  
  
SEVERAL OF THE SWIRLY DALEKS MOVED ABOUT IN THE STREETS. I AM NOT SURE, BUT I BELIEVE THAT THEY WERE DANCING. STRANGE DISHARMONIC NOISE BLARED FROM THE BUILDINGS. I TOOK THIS TO BE MUSIC FOR IT SERVED NO PURPOSE, AND IT SOUNDED LIKE THE NOISE THE RODENT LIKED TO PLAY IN THE TARDIS. SHE CALLED IT MUSIC, ALANDIS AND MIRIEL ARGUED THE DEFINITION. THE DANCING DALEKS PULLED ME INTO THEIR PROMENADE. I BROKE FREE AND CONTINUED MY MISSION.  
  
FINALLY, THE STREET CHANGED TWO WAYS. TO THE RIGHT, A YELLOW ROAD THAT WAS BADLY PAINTED TO RESEMBLE YELLOW BRICKS RAN. THE RED, GREEN, AND WHITE SWIRLY COLORS HALTED AT THE YELLOW ROAD. AFTER THE YELLOW ROAD, STRETCHING OUT INTO THE HORIZON, THE COLORS CHANGED TO PURPLE, PINK, THEN BLUE. THERE WAS NO STREET TO THE LEFT. THE THREE DESIGNS CONVERGED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. THE SIGN ON THE CORNER READ IN DIGITAL LETTERS "THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD". I TURNED ON THIS STREET.  
  
THE BUILDINGS LINING THIS STREET WERE EMERALD GREEN. THE DALEKS IN THIS SECTION VARIED FROM A SOMEWHAT NORMAL LOOKING DALEK TO THE WHACKED OUT COLORS OF MY HOST CASING. THEY BUSIED THEMSELVES AROUND THE STREET WITH A "YO, DALEK BUD!" CRY IN MY DIRECTION. I "YO"'ED THEM BACK. A DALEK OF STRANGE PASTEL COLORS AND AN INTERESTING SCENT PASSED ME BY. "MEET ME AT THE MOSH POSH PIT LATER, BIG BOY!" WAS VOICED. I COULD HAVE SWORN THAT THE ELECTRONIC VOICE WAS FEMININE. DALEKS WERE GENETICALLY PRODUCED. FEMALES WERE CONSIDERED THE LESSER AND WEAKER LESS AGGRESSIVE OF THE SPECIES. THERE WAS NO PLACE FOR THEM IN THE SUPERIOR RACE OF THE UNIVERSE. THE ATTRACTION AND DESIRE FOR SUCH A BEING WAS ELIMINATED WITH THE REST OF THE WEAK EMOTIONS IN THE PROCESS OF OUR CREATION. I WAS DIFFERENT NOW. I FELT INCLINED TO FOLLOW THIS MOST INTERESTING DALEK. I COULD NOT FORGET MY MISSION HERE. MISSION FIRST, DALEK CHASING LATER.  
  
I CAME TO THE END OF THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. A BUILDING WITH FLASHING LIGHTS STOOD BEFORE ME. THE LIGHTS ON THE TOP READ: "THE GNARLY NUTS AND BOLTS SWING FLING PARLOR". A SECOND BRIGHT LIGHT READ "THE MOST PINGAMATIC LAIR OF DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS".  
  
A LOUD ELECTRONIC SQUEALING NOISE ALONG WITH OTHER NOISES FLOATED OUT OF THE ESTABLISHMENT. AN ELECTRONIC VOICE GRATED OUT LYRICS IN SOME FORM OF WHAT I TAKE TO BE AN ATTEMPT AT SINGING, BUT THE RHYTHM OF THE VOICE DID NOT MATCH THE OTHER NOISES, LIKE EVEN THE RODENT'S MUSIC DID. THE WORDS OF THE SONG MADE ME WONDER IF I HAD BEEN AWAY FROM OTHER DALEKS TOO LONG, AND I HAVE FORGOTTEN MY NATIVE TONGUE.  
  
  
  
"MY TENTACLES SLOSH NEAR THE MOSH SKIES  
  
AND TOGETHER WE TOOK A COSMIC TRIP  
  
TO THE STORAGE CIRCUIT BOARD  
  
YOU KNOW YOUR DIGITAL LOVE FRIES MY FRITTERS . . . "  
  
  
  
I AM A DALEK. I DO NOT ADMIT FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND. THE SONG MUST BE SANG IN A NEW FORM OF DALEKIAN. THESE DALEKS HAVE BEEN SEPARATED FROM THE MAIN DALEK CULTURE FOR CENTURIES. EVEN WITH THE LACK OF COHERENCY OF THIS SONG, IT DID HAVE A STRANGE APPEAL.  
  
I WENT TO THE DOOR OF THE PLACE. TWO BLACK DALEKS STOOD ON GUARD. "DO YOU HAVE A PASS?' ONE OF THEM ASKED.  
  
"NO. I HAVE COME TO SEE DAVETT," I ANSWERED.  
  
I WAS BLASTED. IT HURT, BUT I STILL FUNCTIONED. I THOUGHT THIS OVER. THEY DID NOT ANNIHILATE ME FOR THE TRESPASS. WHY BOTHER WASTE THE ENERGY? I WAS NOT DETERRED. I SOUGHT THE LOGIC OF THE ACTION.  
  
"GET LOST!" THE SECOND DALEK ORDERED.  
  
I LOOKED AT THE POSTER THAT SHOWED A PICTURE OF DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS. THEY WERE DALEKS IN THE SAME KIND OF CASING THAT I NOW HAVE. I TURNED MY EYESTALK BACK TO THE TWO GUARDS. THE RODENT HAD TAUGHT ME MANY BAD HABITS BY EXAMPLE. ONE OF HER MAJOR RULES WAS, WHEN IN DOUBT, MAKE SOMETHING UP.  
  
"I AM ONE OF THE BAND MEMBERS," I ANNOUNCED.  
  
"WHY DON'T YOU TALK LIKE THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS?"  
  
"i HAVE HAD SOME EXPERIENCES OF LATE. I HAVE SUSTAINED SOME MAJOR DAMAGE. IT IS VITAL THAT I SEE DAVETT."  
  
"A BAD TRIP, HUH? THERE HAS BEEN SOME BAD STUFF GOING AROUND LATELY. I HEAR IT'S COMING FROM THE EASTSIDE."  
  
I DUG THROUGH MY ORGANIC MEMORY OF THE DEGENERATE LANGUAGE AND RESPONDED. "YEAH, YOU MIGHT SAY THAT, BUD."  
  
THERE WAS NO FURTHER ARGUMENT. I WAS ALLOWED ENTRANCE. THE PLACE WAS A LARGE SMOKE FILLED ROOM. FOUR STRANGE PSYCHEDELIC DALEKS WERE ON THE STAGE AT THE FAR WALL. THE POSTER HAD SHOWN FIVE DALEKS. MAYBE THIS DALEK, WHOSE CASING I WAS USING, WAS THE MISSING MEMBER. WHAT A COINCIDENCE! EACH OF THESE DALEKS DID HIS OWN THING. ONE THE DALEKS MADE PECULIAR WHINES COME FROM A CIRCUIT BOARD. THE SECOND DALEK BOUNCED BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN A SERIES OF METAL GARBAGE CANS. EACH CAN MUST HAVE CONTAINED VARIOUS SUBSTANCES AT VARYING AMOUNTS. EACH CAN GAVE A DIFFERENT SOUND. SOME OF THE CANS GAVE OFF DIFFERENT COLOR SMOKES AND SMELLS. THE THIRD MEMBER SHOT OFF HARMLESS LASERS OF DIFFERENT COLORS AND DESIGNS. A SMOKE CAME OFF OF THIS LASER, TOO. IT ALSO HAD A PECULIAR ODOR. THE FOURTH DALEK ROLLED BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE STAGE. SCREAMS OF DELIGHT FOLLOWED HIM, AS DID THE GREEN BUBBLES FROM HIS GUN CANNON. HE WAS THE ONE WHO SCREECHED THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE LYRICS.  
  
I MOVED THROUGH THE CROWD OF DALEKS, THAT BOUNCED OFF EACH OTHER. SOME OF THE DALEKS DID CASE JUMPING. I MADE A SUDDEN STOP AS ONE DALEK JUMPED FROM HIS CASING TO ANOTHER CASING. HE MISSED AND HIT THE WALL, WHERE HE SLID DOWN TO THE FLOOR WITH A LOUD SQUISH. A ROPE WITH A HOOK ON THE END OF IT CAME SLITHERING OUT OF THE TARGET CASING. THE NAKED DALEK ON THE FLOOR WRAPPED HIS TENTACLES AROUND IT AND WAS REELED IN. THIS WAS TRUE INSANITY. THIS MUST BE A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE BROUGHT ON BY THOSE DUNKIN DONUTS I HAD ACQUIRED AT THE RODENT'S LAST PIT STOP. THIS WOULD EXPLAIN THE THAL CITY, THE HIPPIE DALEKS, AND THE WHOLE CITY.  
  
ON STAGE A LOUD EXPLOSION CAME FROM THE CIRCUIT BOARDS. THE GARBAGE CANS WERE KNOCKED OVER AND THE CHEMICALS MIXED TO CAUSE ANOTHER EXPLOSION. SPARKS FLEW FROM THE LASER DALEK. AN ENORMOUS BUBBLE EMITTED FROM THE LEADER DALEK. IT BROKE FREE AND FLOATED OVER THE AUDIENCE, THEN POPPED, SHOWERING THE AUDIENCE WITH CONFETTI. THE DALEKS ON STAGE DISAPPEARED. I MOVED THROUGH THE CHAOS. I WENT BEHIND THE STAGE. I MET LITTLE RESISTANCE.  
  
"HEY, GROOVY GRISMAR! WHERE'VE YOU BEEN, DALEK!" I HEARD FROM THE BACK ROOM.  
  
I ROLLED TO THE DOORWAY COVERED BY A CURTAIN OF CHEAP PLASTIC BEADS OF MANY COLORS. I PAID IT NO HEED. WEIRDER THINGS HAD INSULTED MY SENSES ALREADY. I ROLLED INTO THE SMALL ROOM, THAT WAS DENSE WITH SMOKE AND WEIRD FUMES. I WAS SHOWERED WITH A FOUR GUN FLOWER POWER SALUTE. THINGS COULD NOT GET ANY STRANGER!  
  
"GRISMAR! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, DALEK BUD! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER WHEN YOU TRIED TO SMOKE THAT LIVE VARGA PLANT!" THE GARBAGE CAN BANGER EXCLAIMED.  
  
"YOU MEAN THE MOBILE POISONOUS VAMPIRIC VARGA PLANT?" I REMARKED SLOWLY. WHAT KIND OF A LUNATIC WAS THIS GROOVY GRISMAR! THE VARGA PLANT WERE CACTUS LIKE CREATURES, THAT WE, THE DALEKS, CREATED TO KEEP ORGANIC CREATURES AWAY FROM US WHEN WE WERE INVOLVED IN IMPORTANT BUSINESS. THE THORN OF THE VARGA PLANT WOULD SLOWLY TURN THE ORGANIC BEING INTO ANOTHER VARGA. GROOVY GRISMAR WAS TRYING TO SMOKE ONE OF THESE WHILE HE WAS STILL ALIVE!   
  
"YEAH," THE GARBAGE CAN DALEK REPLIED, "IT DIDN'T TAKE TOO KINDLY TO YOUR TORCH EITHER."  
  
"AND YOU WERE SHISH-KABOOB DALEK, TOO!" CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK ADDED.  
  
"I AM NOT WHAT I APPEAR TO BE," I ANSWERED, RECOVERING FROM THE SHOCK, "I HAVE COME TO SPEAK WITH DAVETT."  
  
"YEAH, WHAT'S YOUR POINT, GRISMAR?" ASKED THE SINGING BUBBLING DALEK, "WHO HERE IS WHAT HE SEEMS, GRISMAR? ESPECIALLY YOU. NO ONE CAN REMAINED THE SAME AFTER YOUR VAST FLEMOMATIC PINGOMATIC EXPERIENCES."  
  
"ARE YOU STILL ABLE TO DO THOSE ELECTRIFYING SQUEALS," CIRCUIT BOARD ASKED, "I REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE MAJORLY PAINFUL. I'LL ADMIT YOU'VE GOT NERVE TO DO THOSE THINGS WITHOUT KILLING THE COMPUTER FIRST."  
  
"NO, YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I AM FROM THE OUTSIDE," I ANSWERED.  
  
"WELL, THE VARGA PLANT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN OUT OF THE BODY EXPERIENCE IN A MAJOR WAY. WE'LL HAVE TO CONVERSE WITH PRANNALAGER AND HER GNARLY GROUP ABOUT THIS. THAT IS, AFTER SHE CONTACTS THE SPIRIT OF DAVROS FROM THE DEAD."  
  
I PAUSED AND COCKED MY EYESTALK AT HIM. "DAVROS IS NOT DEAD," I ANSWERED.  
  
"OF COURSE, HE'S NOT!" LASER DALEK ANSWERED, "HE LIVES ON IN US ALL."  
  
"NO," I RETURNED SLOWLY, "HE IS THE EMPEROR DALEK."  
  
"THAT WOULD EXPLAIN HER LACK OF SUCCESS IN FINDING HIM, YOU KNOW," LASER DALEK COMMENTED.  
  
"YOU AREN'T A WAY COOL DALEK, ARE YOU. YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!" EXCLAIMED CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK.  
  
"YES. THROUGH AN ACCIDENT, I HAVE BEEN GENETICALLY ALTERED. I HAVE BECOME ONE OF YOU . . . SOMEWHAT."  
  
"WHERE'S GRISMAR?" GARBAGE CAN DALEK ASKED.  
  
"I BELIEVE HE IS DEAD."  
  
"YOU KILLED HIM AND STOLE HIS CASING!" CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK EXCLAIMED.  
  
"NO. I DID NOT KILL HIM. HE WAS GONE WHEN I TOOK THIS CASING. I WOULD ACCESS THAT THE VARGA PLANT DID HIM IN. IMPALEMENT IS A HARD THING TO LIVE THROUGH," I ANSWERED.  
  
"HE'S GOT A POINT THERE," THE SINGER ADDED.  
  
"I SAY WE ASK PRANNALAGER," LASER DALEK SAID.  
  
"LET ME EXPLAIN," I SUGGESTED. THE FOUR DALEK CONVERGED IN A CIRCLE ON ME.  
  
"ROLL ON," SAID THE SINGER, "LET'S HEAR OF THE RISE AND FALL OF OUT MOST BODACIOUS BUD GROOVY GRISMAR AND THE GLORIOUS COMING OF WHATEVER YOU CALL YOURSELF. MAY YOU BE MOST WORTHY OF THE CASING YOU WEAR."  
  
SO, I STARTED MY LONG AND COMPLEX STRANGE TALE WITH MANY A "WAY COOL!", "TUBULAR', AND "NIFTY". WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE THE SINGER INTRODUCED THE BAND TO ME. HE WAS DAVETT. THE GARBAGE CAN BANGER WAS FRIZBOTE. THE LASER DALEK WAS BRIMBOTBUBULAT. THE CIRCUIT BOARDER WAS GLIMMER GLOT. SANITY WAS NOT A COMMON COMMODITY IN THIS CIVILIZATION, AND THEY WANTED TO INTRODUCE ME TO MORE INSANITY. I DECLINED. I HAD HOPED TO DO AWAY WITH THE CLASSIFICATION OF EMPIRICAL DALEK, BUT I WANTED TO KEEP SOME VESTIGE OF MY DALEKHOOD.  
  
SO, THE FIVE OF US AGREED TO TRY AND THIS VENTURE I HAD IN MIND. WE WERE GOING TO INFILTRATE THE EMPIRE AS A PARTY, THAT I HAD LEFT SO LONG AGO. WE FOUND A GOOD USE FOR THE HUMANOIDS IN MY PARTY. THEY WERE CAPTIVES, WHO HAD A PLAN TO SEEK OUT AND DESTROY THE EMPIRE. WE NEEDED TO GET DETAILS OUT OF THEM. SO, WE BROUGHT THEM TO THE CITY FOR INTERROGATION. THE REAL REASON WE NEEDED THEM WAS NONE OF US HAD A CLUE AS TO HOW TO BREAK INTO THE MASTER COMPUTER. TALAR MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT, EVEN IF SHE WAS A THAL. MEANWHILE, I WAS GOING TO DISTRACT THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS WITH THAT FILM FROM VAROS. THIS GREATLY DISTRESSES MY DALEK COMPANIONS. THEY WERE ALSO VERY FOND OF THE DOCTOR. IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO CONVINCE THEM THAT THE DOCTOR WAS NOT DEAD, AND PRANNALAGER DID NOT HAVE TO SUMMON HIS SPIRIT EITHER. I FOUND OUT THAT THESE DALEKS WERE NOT PROGRAMMED TO FEEL THE SAME ABOUT HUMANOIDS AS I WAS PROGRAMMED TO FEEL. IT DID NOT REALLY MATTER THAT I HAD THIS GROUP OF HUMANOIDS WAITING FOR ME, AND I REALLY HAD NO INTENTIONS OF HAVING THEM DAMAGED IN THE COURSE OF THIS VENTURE. THE INFORMATION THAT TWO OF MY COMPANIONS WERE THALS DID NOT BOTHER THEM EITHER. I GOT A LINE FROM BRIMBOTBUBULAT, "THALS CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MISTAKES THAT THEIR PARENTS MADE." I THOUGHT ON THIS A MOMENT. I STILL HATED THE @#$%^&* THALS!  
  
WE PICKED UP PRANNALAGER. PRANNALAGER WAS THAT STRANGE ELUSIVE THING CALLED A FEMALE DALEK. I CAME TO FIND OUT THAT SOME YEARS AGO THESE DALEKS HAD MANAGED TO BREAK INTO THE EMPIRICAL CITY AND THE GENETIC INCUBATION UNITS TO CREATE THE FEMALE DALEK. THEY HAD NOT THE RESOURCES OR TECHNOLOGICAL KNOW HOW TO CREATE NEW SPAWN BY GENETICS. GLIMMER GLOT EXPLAINED THAT "BESIDES, THE FEMALE DALEK IS MUCH MORE INTERESTING WAY OF CREATING NEW SPAWN!" THERE WAS ABOUT ONE FEMALE DALEK TO ABOUT EVERY SIX DALEKS. UNLIKE HUMANOID CULTURE, THERE WAS NO MARRIAGE. A FEMALE DALEK MATED WITH WHOM SHE WISHED AND AS MANY MALES AS SHE WISHED. PRANNALAGER WAS DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSION'S FEMALE. THE OFFSPRING OF THESE MATINGS WERE A COMMUNAL RESPONSIBILITY. THE CHILDREN WERE GIVEN MOBILE UNITS AS SOON AS THEY REACHED THE PROPER INTELLIGENCE LEVEL. I WONDERED HOW DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS HAD EVER ACQUIRED THEIR CASINGS!  
  
PRANNALAGER WAS WHAT THE OTHERS CALLED A NEW AGE DALEK. SHE TOLD US MANY THINGS ABOUT SPIRITUAL THINGS AND ASTRAL PLANES. I NOW UNDERSTOOD THE RELATION SHE HAD WITH DAVETT AND HIS BAND. NONE OF THEM WERE QUITE ON SKARO. SHE WOULD NOT BELIEVE ME THAT DAVROS WAS NOT DEAD. SHE WOULD FIND OUT THE TRUTH SOON ENOUGH.  
  
TO DAVETT'S GREAT DISMAY, I INSISTED UPON NORMAL CASINGS. I FINALLY CONVINCED HIM THAT THIS WAS THE BEST WAY WE COULD SNEAK INTO PASSAH UNNOTICED. SO, THE SIX OF US GOT FITTED WITH NEW CASINGS. THE OLD ONES WERE PUT IN STORAGE. FRIZBOTE BROUGHT ALONG HIS FURRY DICE. THESE WERE NOT EXACTLY THE FURRY DICE OF EARTH CULTURE, BUT THEY WERE USED FOR THE SAME PURPOSE. THEY WERE POLYGONS OF A SMALL SIZE AND HARD MATERIAL WITH A STICKY SUBSTANCE AND ROLLED IN DUST BUNNIES. THESE WERE HIS GOOD LUCK CHARMS. THAT PIECE OF INFORMATION SURPASSED MY LOGIC CIRCUITS. PRANNALAGER BROUGHT HER POWER CRYSTALS, SO THAT SHE COULD STAY IN TUNE WITH THE SPIRIT OF SKARO. WE CONVINCED HER THAT THIRTY WAS A BIT TOO MANY, AND SHE WOULD SUSPICIOUSLY CLANK IN THE EMPIRE. SO, SHE FINALLY AGREED TO BRING ONLY THREE.  
  
MY NEW CASING HAD A NORMAL COMPUTER IN IT. THIS WOULD NOT CAUSE ME THE BRAIN DAMAGE THAT GRISMAR'S COMPUTER PROMISED. DAVROS ONLY KNOWS WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE IF I INTERFACED WITH THAT COMPUTER. THE SIX OF US REJOINED MY WAITING GROUP OUTSIDE THE CITY. WE WERE READY FOR THE FINAL STAGE OF MY PLAN. 


	4. Holiday on Skaro Part 4

Holiday on Skaro Part 4  
  
(as told by K-9)  
  
. . . ? 


	5. Holiday on Skaro Part 5

Holiday on Skaro Part 5  
  
We've spent longer on Skaro than any of us had expected or even wanted to. The general idea was to drop Mikey off and go on. He never asked for help. Even if he demanded help, the Rodent knew how to talk him out of it. That was one thing that she was good at. The problem was the Rodent wanted to actually help the argumentive little blob. She claimed we just couldn't just leave him. I didn't argue. I only followed along. Besides, the two males of the crew, Mikey and Alandis, did enough arguing with each other to more than make up for my lack of participation. Alandis claimed to hate our dalek companion along with any other member of his race. Mikey had been the only dalek I had ever meet up to this point in time. Alandis assured me that I was most fortunate, because Mikey was a "nice" dalek. This fact I found hard to believe. Mikey was the most arrogant, ill tempered, argumentive, and sadistic creature I have ever met. A normal dalek was worse?   
  
When we went through our various adventures on Skaro, I found from hearsay from the various thals that Empirical Dalek were much worse. With all Mikey's various flaws, they found him a "nice" dalek also. I was promised a chance to find out how truly bad it was on a first hand basis. Our two thal companions were quite intrigued with Mikey, and Talar found K-9 interesting. Well, he was rather an interesting piece of equipment in his lack of practical use. He made a lousy mobile computer, but he was a good vacuum cleaner. All I had to do was remove his head, (It really wasn't an important part anyway.) and attach the hose. He seemed to enjoy the sensation. It was one of the many things that made his tail wag.  
  
Garkoe was an interesting fellow in of himself. He was very excited and intrigued by our blood, even more so than Alandis. I know that he had gotten his blood back and destroyed all discoveries of his state of being. Having thals know about him would never do.  
  
After many and various adventures through hostile thals and a rather nasty food explosion, we finally managed to get Mikey to the Rebel Dalek City. He told us with many a threat that we were not to follow him there, because there was no way that we would be able to convince the rebels that were daleks.. Pretending to be a dalek was not my idea. The Rodent and Garkoe came up with that one. So, we camped out about a mile away from the entrance of the cave that lead to the city. Several boulders provided us with support for a tent to shade us against the harsh Skaro sun. The Rodent stretched out on top of one of the boulders. She was intent on getting a well endowed suntan.  
  
"Wouldn't you do better without so much clothes?" I asked her. After all, she continued to wear her jacket, long tacky jeans and worn tennis shoes, while Garkoe, Talar, and I wore light weight short sleeved shirts and shorts.  
  
"Don't encourage her!" complained Alandis, "The result may be frightening!'  
  
The Rodent sat up and pulled her sunglasses up. "Why thank you, Alandis!" she exclaimed, then she laid back down spread eagle.  
  
Twice daily, the Rodent and I took radiation pills. Alandis denied any offer of them. he claimed that his body was cursed to remain stationery. he didn't seem very still to me, so I was puzzled by the statement. Besides, there was no telling how long we would be staying on Skaro, so it would be better to reserve the pills for the Rodent and myself. Garkoe and Talar were of this planet, Through many generation of the intense radiation, the thals finally acclimated to it.  
  
I was able to liven up the thals' insty-meals a bit, but there was only so much I could do for it. We each waited for Mikey's return in our own way. Talar spent most her time with her toilettes, since the thals had not invented the portable computer yet. For a computer genius, she spent more time prissing herself up than any other female I had ever met. I would think that she could speculate computer things on paper or something useful. Alandis spent most of his time trying to convince me to return to the thal city. I had no real practical skills to offer the group in this venture, but I was tired of being left behind on these adventures. So, nothing he could say would convince me otherwise, but I did enjoy the attention he paid me. Out of the five us, Garkoe and the Rodent kept the most entertained. Garkoe had spent a good portion of his time in cataloging the different species of creature on Skaro. So, the Rodent tried to help him out by playing Tiddily Winks with snails. She would flip one in his direction, he would give her its scientific name then flip it over his shoulder. Most of them landed near Talar. The female thal would give out a terrified shriek, and the snail would go flying across the group. the snails for their part would try to right themselves and go uncoordinatedly about for awhile until the Rodent would come upon them again, and the whole thing would start all over again.  
  
At the beginning of the third day, the Rodent found a scorpion like creature. Garkoe laughed and assured her that it was harmless. She acquired that large mischievous grin of hers. Alandis and I knew that soon would be trouble. She sneaked over to where Talar still slept, and dropped the creature down the back of her pajama top. The end result was a thal woman doing a famous female ear piercing scream and an amazing dance to rid herself of the intruder. Garkoe, who was obviously taken with the computer scientist, only rolled around on the ground in laughter.  
  
Before Talar could erect her revenge, Alandis called out that six daleks approached camp, and we should take cover. Mikey was due back, but we could not be sure that this group was Mikey and acquired help. After all, the last time we saw Mikey, he was what the Rodent dubbed a "hippie dalek". These daleks appeared to be normal daleks.  
  
When the lead dalek reached our abandoned campsite, he hailed us, "ALANDIS! RODENT! MIRIEL! @#$%&* THALS! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU INFERIOR NI-PED LOWLY HUMANOIDS!"  
The Rodent was the first out to greet him. "Hi, Mikey! Good to see you, too!"  
  
The rest of us followed her. Alandis shook his head. It had been decided that he would be the first to greet the daleks, since he was the hardest to kill. He never trusted any of the dealings with the daleks. The tales he had told me about them were terrifying at the very least, and they could be creative liars when it suited them.  
  
The five other daleks looked us over cautiously with no sign of threat. "THESE DALEKS HAVE COME TO AID ME ON MY QUEST," Mikey announced, "THEY ARE CALLED DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS AND FRIEND PRANNALAGER. THEY ARE A MUSICAL BAND FROM KRAMA-LI."   
  
"And how exactly is a musical band going to help you on your mission?" Alandis asked cynically, "You were suppose to get combat or scientific daleks."  
  
The dalek that Mikey refered to as Prannalager shot a sparkling white beam at Alandis. He grimaced and raised an eyebrow in confusion at the dalek. "ALL ARGUMENT WILL STOP ABOUT OUR USEFULNESS AND GOOD QUALITIES. I HAVE ZAPPED YOU WITH POSITIVE WAVES, AND NOW YOU WILL HAVE POSITIVE THOUGHTS!" a feminine voice stated.  
  
"She sounds like you, Rodent!" I commented.  
  
Alandis' cheeks puffed up and he broke. He fell to the ground in laughter. "This is going to be rare! If you don't sing the Empirical daleks to death, you can always shower them with positive waves."  
  
"IT WORKED," she protested, "LAUGHTER IS A VERY POSITIVE THING."  
  
"Female dalek!" Garkoe exclaimed excitedly at the same time as Alandis' statement. "The rarest of rares! I must have a blood sample of this one and dissection and the whole shoamooley!"  
  
The other four daleks and Mikey rounded on him. 'NO!!" they emphasized.   
  
"PRANNALAGER IS OUR FEMALE!" one of the daleks answered, "GET YOUR OWN!"  
  
"NO THAL IS GOING TO MESS WITH ANY OF MY RECRUITED HELP!" Mikey answered, "YOU WILL NOT KILL PRANNALAGER AND PUT HER IN A JAR!"  
  
Alandis sat up and cocked his head to one side. Puzzlement crossed his face.  
  
Garkoe frowned. "Oh yeah. I guess that wouldn't go over too well."  
  
Alandis shook his head. "Perhaps we should get to the plot already," he suggested, "I'm overly tired of Skaro. It feels like we have been here nearly a year!"  
  
"It does seem like a long time," the Rodent agreed, "but it is rude not to have formal introductions."  
  
Mikey moved forward and point out each of the daleks as he named them, "DAVETT, FRIZBOTE, GLIMMER GLOT, BRIMBOTBUBULAT, AND PRANNALAGER." Although all daleks looked the same to me, I somehow knew the difference between them. Davett acted like he may have all his marbles, and Prannalager moved and acted feminine. That only left the other three, and somehow they were truly different.  
  
Mikey looked at the 10 of us. "THE GENERAL IDEA I HAVE IS THIS," he said, "WE BRING THE HUMANOIDS IN AS CAPTURED CONSPIRATORS WITH THE DOCTOR . . ."  
  
"BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE YOUR FRIEND?" Glimmer Glot complained.  
  
Mikey looked skyward. "THEY ARE! IT IS AN ACT. WE CANNOT JUST GO TO THE EMPIRICAL DALEK CAPITOL AND TELL THEM THAT HUMANOIDS ARE OUR FRIENDS!"  
  
"OH . . . WHY NOT?"  
  
"TRUST ME!"  
  
"You have got some bright ones there!" Alandis commented.  
  
"SHUT-UP, ALANDIS!" Mikey ordered. He turned his attention back to the plan. "ONCE WE GET TO THE CONTROL CENTER, I WILL TELL THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS HOW WE FOUND OUT THAT THE DOCTOR WAS BEHIND A PLOT WITH THESE HUMANOIDS. WE WERE ABLE TO CAPTURE, TORTURE, AND KILL THE DOCTOR. I HAVE VISUAL PROOF OF HIS EXTERMINATION."  
  
"THE DOCTOR IS DEAD? AND WE KILLED HIM?" Brimbotbubulat whined.  
  
"Nah, Bubu," the Rodent answered, "We went to a place that does videos of executions, and the Doctor is a good actor."  
  
"OH . . ." he answered.  
  
"WHILE I DISTRACT THE DALEKS WITH THIS SPECIAL VIDEO, TALAR AND DAVETT WILL INSTALL THE PROGRAM."  
  
"WHY DOES DAVETT GET TO HAVE ALL THE FUN?" Frizbote complained.  
  
"BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY ONE OF YOU WITH ANY INTELLIGENCE!" Mikey returned.  
  
"OH, ALRIGHT," Frizbote agreed.  
  
"THE REST OF YOU WILL GUARD THE PRETEND PRISONERS AND HIDE DAVETT AND TALAR FROM VIEW."  
  
"KINKY!" Glimmer Glot exclaimed, "CAN WE WATCH?"  
  
The other three daleks cheered their enthusiastic agreement to this idea. Talar threw her toilettes bag at Glimmer Glot, but he moved easily out of her way. Davett shot him on the retreat with some kind of energy blast.  
  
Talar shook her head. "I would much rather work with you, Mikey. At least I know what to expect from you."  
  
"I CAN TALK AND ACT LIKE AN EMPIRICAL DALEK SINCE I WAS ONE NOT SO LONG AGO." Mikey looked around at the other five daleks, who huddled together and moved all appendages in a strange synchronized way. "BESIDES, THEY WOULD SCREW IT UP."   
  
"HEY! WE CAN'T HELP IT THAT YOU UNCOOL EMPIRICALS AIN'T GOT GOOD LINGO!" Brimbotbubulat remarked.  
  
"I don't see anything wrong with Bubu's language," the Rodent commented, "Sounds good to me."  
  
"MY NAME ISN'T BUBU," argued Brimbotbubulat, "IT'S BRIMBOLLBUBUBELLAT!"  
  
"YOU TOLD ME THAT YOUR NAME IS BRIMOTBUBULAT!" Mikey retorted.  
  
"OH BUBU DOES THAT," explained Davett, taking to the Rodent's shortened name, "HE HARDLY GIVES THE SAME NAME TWICE."  
  
"WAS GRISMAR THE ONLY ONE OF YOU WHO TRIED TO SMOKE THE VARGA PLANT?" Mikey inquired very slowly.  
  
The five daleks looked at each other and conversed silently. Talar, Garkoe, Alandis, and the Rodent all looked at each other and mouthed, "Smoke a varga plant?" After several moments, the daleks looked back at Mikey. "YES," they answered, "WHY?"  
  
"NEVERMIND," Mikey replied.  
  
"This was the most helpful bunch you could come up with?" Alandis asked.  
  
"YOU SENT ME INTO THE CITY AS A FOOL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT I WOULD GET AS A FOLLOWING?"  
  
So, the eleven of us discussed the plan, and when we had gotten down our parts, and things were final, the five rebel daleks gave a great hoorah. They gathered together in a circle and extended their suction cups, and with an exclamation of "PLUNGER POWER!" they came together with their plungers. The force of the impact made the suction cups stick together. Mikey rolled away from the group. We could hear him grumbling as he passed then a metallic scream was heard from his direction. The five daleks tried to pull themselves apart from each other, but the suction cups held firm. They struggled and struggled, as motors and wheels dug into the sand. Garkoe, Talar, and the Rodent worked on pulling them apart.  
  
"We are all doomed," exclaimed Alandis.  
  
So, it was agreed that we would rest tonight and tomorrow morning we would start out for the Empirical City. I made a wonderful meal out of the supplies present. Mikey out ate his dalek companions. Somehow, I was not surprised. Talar, the Rodent, and Garkoe and I all settled down to sleep. Alandis would rest in his own time. He had to seek out his own meal in his own way. I did not understand, but I had learned to accept it. The daleks did not need to sleep, and Mikey spent his time to teach them their numbers for the adventure in the Empirical City.  
  
"BUBU, YOUR NUMBER IS 221-21616," Mikey told him.  
  
"THE NAME IS BRIMBRAKLATBACKABEE," he answered.  
  
"NUMBER," insisted Mikey.  
  
"2 . . .12 . . . 7 . . . 3 . . .69," he replied/  
  
A cry of distress came from Mikey. He sighed and returned to the group. "WE HAVE A LONG NIGHT AHEAD OF US."  
  
"IT IS THE TIME OF THE YEAR FOR LONG NIGHTS. ACTUALLY TONIGHT IS A RATHER SHORT NIGHT AMONG THEM," replied Prannalager.  
  
"DAVETT," Mikey said, ignoring Prannalager, "Your number is . . . "  
  
I fell asleep during the drill. I woke to a cry from the Rodent. I looked over at her. The five strange daleks moved away from her. She was completely soaked.  
  
"No fair!" she complained, "I've already had my bath for this adventure!"  
Alandis appeared silently at my side. "They got me first," he remarked. I turned to look at his soaked form. Water dripped from his hair and clothes. I tried to hold back the laughter, especially since I knew how much he hated water, but I couldn't contain it. I had never seen him wet, muchless soaked. The sour expression on his face made it even funnier. "It's not funny!" he complained.  
  
"You don't see yourself now! Honestly, it's funny!" I answered.  
  
He sighed exasperated. "You know I feel about the same as the Rodent does about being wet!"  
  
The five daleks split up. Three of them went to surround Talar, who continued to sleep, and two of them went to Garkoe, who was not awakened by the Rodent's cry. A large inflated balloon appeared at the end of each of the guns from each one of the daleks. The other daleks took the end of the red balloon in their guns and carefully pulled it over the given thal. The balloon was expanded with a heavy material. It was most likely water, considering Alandis' and the Rodent's wet forms. A great purple symbol, that the Rodent explained was a peace symbol from the earth's 1960's era, grew on the center of each balloon. The balloons grew and grew. Then it reached its capacity. The daleks stood for a few moments, then they retreated quickly to five directions as they allowed the balloon fall on its victim.  
  
Talar woke with a curse. Garkoe sat up drowsily a moment, then laid back down and went back to sleep. Talar's attacking daleks glided away quickly into hiding before she could retaliate their insult. The two daleks over Garkoe just looked down at him as he continued to sleep. Alandis shook his wet hair ad went to Mikey to wake him by knocking on his lid.  
  
"No, wait, Alandis," the Rodent suggested.  
  
"Why?" he asked.  
  
"Once Miriel makes breakfast, he'll wake. It is better to have him in a good mood," she replied.  
  
"He's a dalek, he has no good mood!" he argued, "and what about Garkoe?"  
  
"He'll wake up for breakfast also. He's a normal male. His stomach talks to his brain, unlike other males that I know."  
So, I made breakfast for the eleven of us. The five daleks looked on curiously at my preparation of the food. They were too occupied last night to pay attention. When I was done, the Rodent announced brightly:  
  
"Breakfast, come and get it!"  
  
Mikey promptly woke and went for his heaping share. The five other daleks looked at each other. Garkoe woke up also at breakfast call. Although food was often the motivation for him, he ate moderately. Rassilon showed up and did his thing. He pulled bits of food from everyone's plate, and he managed to get the remainder of Talar's meal by making crude faces at her, until she shrieked and hid behind a boulder. This was the fourth day we had been camped outside of Krama-Li, and this was the tenth time he had done this to her. I don't understand why she didn't send him flying across the desert. I sent him flying across the TARDIS kitchen the first time he tried to intimidate me out of my food. Everyone, including Garkoe, ignored her and continued to eat.  
  
Finally, after the meal, Rassilon crawled back into his sanctuary of the Rodent's pockets, and we started out for the dalek's Empirical City. The Empirical City was nothing special. Actually, it was rather dull on the whole. The city was made out of metal, and it was smooth and regular cut, even if at strange distorted angles. Unlike what Mikey had told us about the rebel dalek city, this place was not painted with fancy designs or bright colors. It was all plain metal.  
  
Our dalek companions filed us in a line. Mikey led and Bubu took up the rear. We were stopped at the doorway by two Empirical Daleks.  
  
"STATE NUMBER AND PURPOSE."  
  
U7246825. WE HAVE PRISONERS. WE BRING THEM FOR SPECIAL INTERROGATION."  
  
"THERE IS NO PATROL ON SKARO THAT IS UNACCOUNTED FOR OR WITH YOUR IDENTIFICATION NUMBER."  
  
"WE WERE ON SCOUT SHIP 7448 TO COLONIZE 578. WE EXPERIENCED TROUBLE. WE WERE THROWN OFF COURSE. DAMAGE CAUSED US TO CRASH INTO THE WASTELANDS. WE HAPPENED UPON THIS GROUP OF REBELS. THE EXPEDIENCY TO RETURN TO BASE WAS OVERRIDDEN BY THE PRIME DIRECTIVE TO EXTERMINATE THESE HUMANOIDS , BUT WE FOUND A SPECIAL ALERT ONE ENEMY WITH THEM. GIVEN THE SPECIAL DANGEROUS QUALITY OF THE ENEMY, WE TOOK THESE CAPTIVES FOR INTERROGATION."  
  
"PROCEED."  
  
We went forward. "TA-TA, SEXY!" Prannalager remarked seductively.  
  
The guards turned on us with their stun guns raised. Three more guards appeared. "REPEAT YOUR STATEMENT," the first guard demanded of Prannalager.  
  
Davett rolled before her. "YOU CANNOT COMPUTE THAT A DALEK WOULD MAKE SUCH A STATEMENT. IT WAS ONE OF THE PRISONERS."  
  
"WE DID NOT SPEAK TO YOU!" the Empirical daleks focused their guns on him.  
  
"DALEK 421132-198920 IS DAMAGED AND CANNOT SPEAK. THIS IS WHY I SPOKE."  
  
The five Empirical daleks relayed messages to each other in silent computer language. Finally, the lead dalek spoke again. "YOU WILL KEEP YOUR PRISONERS SILENT."  
  
"WE OBEY."  
  
Davett shot a beam of energy at Alandis. He cried out and crumpled. This startled the four of us. "PICK HIM UP," droned Davett, 'THE NEXT ONE OF YOU WHO SPEAKS WILL BE EXTERMINATED."  
  
Garkoe and I supported Alandis as we moved onward. Alandis looked at me through hanging red hair. He gave me a wink, as he kept his look of pain. I felt less afraid to know that he was faking the pain. When we cleared the guards and moved into an empty corridor, Davett turned onto his other band members.  
  
"NO MORE COMMENTS OUT OF ANY OF YOU!"  
  
"OH POOH!" Glimmer Glot complained, "YOU'RE AS DULL AS THE SPLOTCHY DALEKS!"  
  
"WE PLAN TO SURVIVE THIS ADVENTURE. THESE DALEKS WILL KILL YOU, AND ESPECIALLY YOU, PRANNALAGER. THEY DON'T RESPECT YOUR WORTH."  
  
"I COULDN'T HELP IT! HE WAS A SEXY LITTLE POSH, AND HE FRIED MY FRITTERS!"  
  
"HE WILL DO MORE THAN FRY YOUR FRITTERS, IF YOU DON'T KEEP QUIET!" Mikey complained.  
  
"OH GOODY!" she exclaimed.  
  
"I think he means that the daleks her will kill you," Talar explained.  
  
"OH PRAGT!"  
While this conversation had been going on, Frizbote looked over the dull walls. "PHOOEY!" he complained and proceeded to do artistic things to it by way of spray paint from his gun. I wondered how many different things that these daleks have that they could use those guns for, especially since he could change color at will.  
  
Davett shot a beam of energy at him. The dalek jumped with a yelp. "QUIT THAT AND COME ON!"  
  
Frizbote grumbled a response, and we continued down the corridors. Mikey led us through several corridors. We finally came to an area where there were several daleks milling about at different computers. None of these daleks seemed to pay us any attention. Mikey went to a black dalek, who seemed to be supervising other daleks.  
  
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS. EXPLAIN."  
  
"WE ARE FROM SHIP 7448. THE MISSION TO 578 FAILED. WE WERE ATTACKED BY SONTARANS. THE SUPERIOR COMMANDING DALEKS WERE DESTROYED BY THE SONTARANS. WE WERE ABLE TO ABLE TO ESCAPE. SHIP 7448 WAS SEVERELY DAMAGED, THEN IT WAS DESTROYED UPON LANDING IN THE WASTELANDS OF SKARO."  
  
"FAILURE IS UNACCEPTABLE. WHY RETURN? YOU SHOULD HAVE SELF-DESTRUCTED."  
  
"WE KNOW THE COORDINATES OF THE SONTARAN BASE. IT IS OUR DUTY TO HAVE THE SONTARANS PUNISHED FOR THEIR INTERFERENCE WITH THE DALEK'S MISSION TO DOMINATE 578. WE CAN NOW SEEK AND EXTERMINATE THEM."  
  
"ACCEPTABLE. RELAY COORDINATE AND EXPLAIN PRISONERS."  
  
Mikey spoke to the dalek in computer language, and the black dalek received the information. "PRISONERS WERE FOUND WITH THE ARCH ENEMY OF THE DALEKS. WE FOUND THEM WITH THE DOCTOR. WE WERE ABLE TO CAPTURE AND DESTROY MANY OF THE REBELS, INCLUDING THE DOCTOR. I HAVE VIDEO PROOF OF THE DOCTOR'S EXTERMINATION."  
  
"THE PRISONERS SHOULD BE EXTERMINATED NOT BROUGHT HERE ALIVE."  
  
"WE DESTROYED MANY OF THEM IN SEARCH OF THEIR BASE. WE WERE UNABLE TO LOCATE AND DESTROY THEIR BASE. WE CAPTURED AND BROUGHT THESE PRISONERS FOR SPECIAL INTERROGATION. WHEN THE DOCTOR HAS MEDDLED WITH THE AFFAIRS OF THE DALEKS IN THE PAST, WE HAVE ALWAYS FOUND SOME UNDERLINING PLOT. WE CAN FORCE HIS PLANS FROM THESE PRISONERS. THEIR TORTURE SHOULD PROVE ENTERTAINING."  
  
"WHERE IS THE DOCTOR'S BODY?"  
  
"AFTER HIS TORTURE AND DEATH, THE BODY WAS LOST IN THE METHANE SWAMP."  
  
"ACCEPTABLE. SHOW YOUR VIDEO."  
  
"THE EMPEROR WOULD BE MOST PLEASED TO WITNESS THIS EVENT."  
  
"THE EMPEROR IS ON MOST URGENT BUSINESS ON 20TH CENTURY EARTH. HE WILL WITNESS THIS EVEN AFTER HIS MISSION THERE IS COMPLETE."  
  
Mikey moved across the room. The video tape shot out of the top of his casing. He caught it with his plunger. He inserted the video into one of the computer banks. The video was a tasteless display of a man's pain. The Rodent had bought a copy for her allusive father. From what she has told me of him, he is a strange sadistic being with a major meglomaniac streak. As the video played, more of the daleks turned to the screen and away from their work. We were ushered to the other side of the room.  
  
Talar and Davett took the initiative to get to the computer behind us. The other four daleks surrounded us. We stayed well in front of the working pair. the video ran for fifteen minutes, and our daleks made crude comments about it. The Empirical daleks, on the other hand, cheered with enthusiasm.  
  
We heard Davett behind us make a comment to Talar. "IF YOU WERE A DALEK, I WOULD RUMBLE IN YOUR CAN NOW!"  
  
We soon heard the sound of a foot hitting a casing with great force, and we saw Davett's casing whirl backwards into the far computer banks with a thud. the Empirical daleks didn't notice. They were too caught up with the video.   
  
Soon the video ended. Talar uttered a curse. She had not finished installing the program. Davett whirled around and cried out, "ENCORE!"  
  
The Empirical daleks paused a moment, then they took up the chant, "ENCORE! ENCORE!"  
  
So, the black dalek rewound the video and played it again. "THIS IS INDEED A SPECIAL MOMENT FOR THE DALEK RACE."  
  
About halfway through the video, Davett exclaimed, "WHOALA!" The Empirical daleks were too busy to notice. Talar and Davett had finished their work.  
  
The film ended again. "ENOUGH. BACK TO WORK. TAKE THE PRISONERS TO DETENTION. WE WILL PROPERLY DEAL WITH THEM LATER," the black dalek announced. He rolled away with the sound of almost harmony, 'THE DOCTOR IS DEAD! THE DOCTOR IS DEAD! YIPEE!"  
  
Mikey returned to us. "DETENTION," he announced.  
  
"But we installed the program," Talar protested.  
  
"SILENCE!" Mikey ordered. We were led to a cell. Mikey turned to Davett. "I WILL GUARD THE PRISONERS. YOU TAKE THE OTHERS AND SEEK OUT THE REBEL BASE," he told Davett.  
  
"I OBEY," Davett replied. 


	6. Holiday on Skaro Part 6

Holiday on Skaro Part 6  
  
We have all taken turns at telling about our interesting little adventure on Skaro. It's Rassilon's turn, but he flat out refused. I couldn't even talk him out of his special little home in my jacket pocket, so that we could discuss terms. Of course, the only thing that we had to offer him in the way of a bribe was Dalek rations. He quite bluntly and none too kindly (with a vocabulary that astounded me) refused, saying (and I might well add, rightly so) that the Dalek rations were not food. Blagh! I can't say that I blame him. It's a squishy colorless pile of goop, that has no taste and does nothing for the growling stomach! For all its flaws, it did make good Play Dough stuff. My companions didn't want their rations either. They ignored me as I built my spiffy Dalek Rations Castle. I was quite proud of my grand achievement, until the towers flopped over, and the structure dissolved into a squishy pool of gunk on the floor.  
  
Anyway, back tot he point. Since we could not intrigue Rassilon's interest in this story telling, I feel it is my duty as the leader of this group to tell this last part myself. Of course, a few threats from the company I was keeping, didn't hurt this decision any. Well, I guess since these are my adventures anyway, I should feel it was my duty. So, where were we . . .  
  
The Empirical Daleks and Mikey had us imprisoned, although Talar and Davett had installed the program into the main computer system. Davett and his fellow rebel daleks had went in pretense to seek out the plotting humanoids in league with the Doctor. Of course, given the combined intellect of that dalek party, they may have gone in earnest, although it had been explained that there was no plotting group led by the Doctor on Skaro at this time. Mikey stood guard at our cell.  
  
Being held captive did not fare well on any of us, and none of them showed any kind of enthusiasm towards my Daleks Rations Castle! Alandis sat with Miriel. He tried to cheer her up by telling her of his adventures before joining our party. I think she just enjoyed his attention. Garkoe sat in a corner and just looked rather dejected. He had other things on his mind other than me, and she wasn't my type. Blonde, yes; a certain Time Lord, no way! So, what was the point of it all. Talar worked on beautifying herself. None of us could figure this out, because none of us could care a pile of Dalek Rations what she looked like, and the Empirical Dalek could care less. So, no one really cared when I whipped out the All Purpose All Lock Lock Picker and did some serious work on the lock. They didn't even notice when I got the electric shock that sent me across the room. They didn't even notice when I did manage to get the door opened, and Mikey shot me.  
  
Now, since I am telling this part of the story, he obviously didn't kill me. Of course, then again, stranger things have happened. However, while I was unconscious, Mikey did take my special toy from me. Garkoe informed me of this after I spent a better part of an hour looking for it. So, to my next ploy. I took Miriel's high heeled shoes on her protests. She was a typical female companion. She had to wear high heeled shoes for this adventure over rough terrain! She didn't think it proper to wear casual shoes with shorts. Anyway, I convinced her that her shoes had a greater and higher purpose in the scheme of things.  
  
The heels of her shoes were fine enough to work the electronic circuits to my liking. Of course, it did cause a small fire, that destroyed her shoe and brought Mikey to put out the fire and to blast me again. My companions were a lot of help. They just sat and watched.  
  
I got even with them when I woke up again. I decided to empty my pockets onto the floor. With several pieces of quite rank half eaten foods, that I was certain that Rassilon was happy to have out of his home, but my companions were none too pleased to have out in the open, I went about working out the chemical compound that would explode the door open. Talar was most kind and added a wretch to my collection.  
  
I scribbled the formula of my plan on the back wall with a packet of mustard and a packet of horseradish. Alandis sighed and left his position next to Miriel. He picked up a packet of ketchup and corrected my formula. I smirked at him and corrected his work with my mustard. he shook his head and corrected in ketchup. So, I had to splatter him with pickle relish. He frowned, took careful aim at a particularly with his foot. The sandwich went flying through the air at me, and I sidestepped it. It splattered into the chemical formula on the wall with a sickening squishy sound, then it slid down the wall as it turned into a disgusting ooze on the floor. The middle of my work was totally obliterated.  
  
Well, I couldn't take this sitting down (or just standing there as the case may be). So, I picked up a biscuit (or it could have once been a White Castle hamburger that melted into one piece after living in my pocket for so long) from my pile, and I flung it at him. It missed him, bounced off the wall and hit Garkoe. Well, Garkoe, as otherwise occupied as he may have been, was not going to take this sitting down. So, he picked up what appeared to be a pile of french fries, that had melded together into one piece and turned a blackish brown furry color. He threw this piece of once potato shavings at me and missed. It hit the wall and put a sizeable dent there. Even worse, it stayed there impaled on the wall by the spikes of fries. The two girls only cringed together in a corner.  
  
The door slid open as Garkoe slung a lethal piece of old pizza at me, but it squished down the front of the entering dalek. Garkoe looked distressed. Alandis and I looked at each other and smiled. We bombarded the daleks with an onslaught of decayed food. The three of us got stunned. Well, two out of three of us were lousy shots.  
  
We were the kind of stunned, where you're just conscious enough of what's going on, but you're helpless to do anything about it. Alandis only feigned stunness. Nothing the daleks had done to him so far had any real effect on him, so a little stun gun certainly wasn't going to do anything.   
  
"YOU WILL GIVE BLOOD FOR OUR EXPERIMENT BEFORE YOU ARE QUESTIONED. IF YOU RESIST, YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED," announced the dalek with all the goop on him.  
  
Two daleks entered the cell from behind this dalek. One of the daleks had a syringe in place of the plunger, and his gun was trained on his first victim, who was Talar. The thal did the appropriate ear-piercing scream and cringing. The slopped dalek trained his gun on her. She backed up to the wall. The dalek with the syringe moved in on her and shot her in the arm with the needle. A wire made the link between the dalek and the syringe. A metal claw appeared from the same area. The claw held the needle steady as the wire reeled it in and withdrew the blood. The second dalek approached them, and when the stringe was full, this dalek took it and replaced it with a new empty one. the second dalek left with the specimen and returned with a third empty syringe. The first dalek repeated this process with Garkoe. Miriel submitted quietly when it was her turn. Alandis was not so cooperative.  
  
Alandis, as before mentioned, was none too keen on sharing his blood. The pretense of being indisposed was completely over. The dalek shot the syringe at him, and he promptly got out of the way, So, the other two daleks shot him. Miriel gave a good shriek and ran to his smoldering body.  
  
I was the last in line, and I took it laying still. Of course, seeing the shedding of my own blood did do something for me. I ended up fully unconscious for the third time in this story.  
  
When i awoke, the paralysis was gone. Alandis' body laid in Miriel's arms. I got up groggily. Miriel shot me a vicious look. Tears welled in her eyes. "This is all your fault! If you didn't have to help that dalek in the first place, this would never have happened to Alandis!" she cried as she held him closer.  
  
I grimaced and crossed my arms. I kicked Alandis' legs. "Enough playing around, boy!" I exclaimed. Miriel never quite grasped the concept of the undead situation of Alandis. Thus, she didn't get that he was a tad bit hard to kill. "Get up and make Miriel quit crying already!"  
  
"How dare you treat him like this!" challenged Miriel, "How can you be so callus?"  
I stood in front of her unmoved. This could turn into a good fight, but Alandis spoke without moving or opening his eyes. "Let it drop, Miriel," he said.  
  
"You're alive! But how?" she exclaimed quite happily as she hugged him closer. He responded by her reaction by stiffly hugging her. I wanted to respond, too, but I thought better of it. I wanted to keep my last meal right where it was for the time being.  
  
"Nifty!" exclaimed Garkoe, "I'm going to enjoy doing your blood work, when I get out of this mess . . . if we get out of this mess."  
  
"We'll get out of this," Alandis answered indifferently.  
  
"I still don't understand how this is possible," Talar commented, "Daleks don't take lightly to those that they threaten to kill."  
  
"Don't ask. My body systems function differently than any of you"  
  
"That's why he dines alone," I remarked.  
  
"Don't start it," he returned.  
  
"Who? Me?" I asked with a squeak.  
  
Miriel got up and let Alandis' head and body hit the floor with a chunk. "And I wept for your dying!"  
"Hey!" he complained, as he sat up rubbing the back of his head, "You act disappointed that I am not dead."  
  
I gave him a big grin with a remark on the end of my tongue. "Shut up, Rodent!" he ordered before I could explicate.  
  
"How long were you going to let me cry?" she demanded without turning to him.  
  
He bowed his head and gave a faint smile. His face turned a pale pink. "I'm not so far dead that I do not enjoy a pretty girl holding me when I am hurt," he answered. I felt my lunch make another statement.   
  
Suddenly, something strange hit my senses. The cell was clean. "Where's my mess?"  
  
"I had to clean it up," Miriel complained, "You don't live here."  
  
"The man you love is laying in a smoldering heap on the floor, and you have to clean up my mess, because it is not proper to leave a mess in a dalek cell, where we are being held against our will under the threat of painful death," I said slowly.  
  
"Well, . . . yes. Alandis wasn't going anywhere, and Mikey even brought me a bucket," she defended.  
  
I shook my head. Alandis only smiled and shrugged. Garkoe hooked his thumb to the bucket in the corner. "It's over there seething," he remarked.  
  
I went over to the bucket. A black and purple sickly green smoke rolled up from it. I went ot pull the bucket it up by the handle, but it made unsteady vibrations and ominous noises. Alandis got up and helped me move it to the door. A trail of bubbling goop followed the bucket from the corroded hole that it ate through the bottom. Alandis and I carefully placed it by the door. It made more unsteady movements and nasty noises on its own. Alandis and I scattered to the back of the cell. It quieted down. Now, all we needed was something to set it off from a distance.  
  
"Garkoe, give me your shoes," I ordered.  
  
"No! Use your own!" he complained.  
  
Miriel cringed at his suggestion. "You know not what you suggest, Garkoe!" she exclaimed, "Her shoes are lethal weapons when removed! Never suggest such a horrible thing again! "  
I gave her a bright grin. Seeing the complete terror in her eyes, he grumbled and gave up his shoes. My first shot completely missed. His second shoe flopped into the bucket of slop. The bucket made queer noises. We cringed ready for the coming explosion, then the door slid open. The dalek, that stood there, looked down at the volatile substance for a moment, then a multi-colored straw with many twists and curves came out of its gun into the bucket. Loud disgusting slurping sounds were heard. The volatile substance, that we worked so hard to create, disappeared up the twists and swirls of the loops. A mild explosion occurred in the dalek casing, then a loud belch followed.  
  
"THAT WAS BETTER THAN LVEKAR'S SPECIAL HOME RECIPE!" the dalek exclaimed.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BUBU?" we heard Prannalager call.  
  
"JUST A SNACK," he replied.  
  
"GET THE HUMANOIDS, AND LET'S BLOW THIS POPSTAND!" Davett called.  
  
"OH! THIS WAY, BUDS!"  
The five of us looked at each other puzzled and did as we were told. Garkoe paused and retrieved his one surviving shoe. The other one was dissolved and consumed in the long gone goop. Mikey rolled up to us when we left our cell. He had five gas masks hanging from his plunger arm. "TRUST ME. YOU WILL NEED THESE," he said. His eyestalk turned to Alandis, "EVEN YOU WILL NEED ONE. DO NOT ARGUE."  
More puzzlement, but we obeyed and put them on. Mikey led us down a corridor, We were joined by the others of Davett's band. We filed obediently into the middle of the group. Mikey led us down another corridor, and we ran into a group of Empirical daleks.  
  
"WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN THE PRISONERS FROM THEIR HOLDING CELL?"  
"I AM TAKING THEM TO INTERROGATION," Mikey answered.  
  
"WHY DO THE PRISONERS HAVE AIR PURIFYING APPARATI?" the dalek demanded.  
  
"BECAUSE OF THIS," Davett replied. A grenade shot out from each of his fellow band member's guns. It rolled out to the group of Empirical daleks. A bright red and blue smoke rolled up from each of the grenades as each of the Empirical daleks looked on. Finally, they backed off with a "PEE-YU!!" While they were occupied with the stench, we raced down the corridor.  
  
We were stopped several times, Davett and his Gaseous Emissions got us out of it. One of the times, we were stopped by a Black Dalek. We ran into a laboratory, where the daleks worked busily at different experiments. A doorway of light emitted near the Black Dalek. This light came from a machine where several daleks were hard at work. Mikey rolled forward to the Superior Dalek.  
  
"I HAVE BROUGHT THE HUMANOIDS FOR THE COMPLETION OF THE EXPERIMENT. TO SHOW THEM THE COMBINATION OF THE HUMAN FACTOR INTO OUR SYSTEM SHOULD TERRIFY THEM INTO TELLING US ALL WE WANT TO KNOW."  
  
"YOU ARE A FLAWED DALEK. THE SCIENTIST HERE HAVE FOUND THAT ONE OF THE BLOOD SAMPLES OF THE PRISONERS IS THAT OF A TIME LORD. YOUR VIDEO PROOF OF THE DOCTOR'S EXTERMINATION IS FALSE. ONE OF YOUR PRISONERS IS THE DOCTOR!"  
  
"I am not the Doctor!" I objected vehemently, "I just want the Doctor! Don't you know the difference between Time Lords and Time Ladies! Geez! And you call yourselves the superior race!"  
We all scattered as he shot at me. A smoldering hole appeared in the floor where I once stood. "THANKS TO YOU, DOCTOR, WE HAVE CREATED THIS PARTICULAR BEAM THAT WILL EVOLVE US ABOVE AND BEYOND OUR PRESENT SUPERIORITY. WE WILL THEN GO AND CONQUER YOUR PETTY RACE."  
Davett and Company shot grenades at him. The Black Dalek reacted by backing out of the stench. He went through the beam of light that illuminated an archway. He came out the other side. He looked around and gave out a cry of "Whoa!" We ran for it.  
  
We were only stopped a couple of times. Most of these daleks acted peculiar and were not interested in us. So, we escaped the Empirical City and ran back to where we camped outside the rebel city a couple nights ago.  
  
"But won't the Empirical daleks be able to figure out how to get to the rebel city by following our tracks?" Miriel asked.  
  
"NAH," Glimmer Glot answered, "THEY WILL HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE WITH DAVETT'S SPECIAL STINK BOMBS TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED FOR QUITE SOME TIME. THE ONE WE LEFT IN THE VENTILATION DUCTS WILL GIVE ALL THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS MOST GRACIOUS HALLUCINATIONS TO GO ALONG WITH THE STENCH."  
"BUT THEY DIDN'T *BURP* GET ANY OF THE RODENT'S SPECIAL SOUP!" Bubu commented.  
  
"I DON'T THINK ANY OF THEM WANTED IT," Frizbote answered, "I DON'T EVEN THINK GRISMAR WOULD HAVE WANTED IT!"  
  
"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET ANY OF IT!" returned Bubu. He belched and fire flew out of his lid. He sighed in ecstasy.  
  
"But the program didn't take effect like we expected," Talar complained, "They were awfully eager to kill us and imprison us."  
  
"I think she means that the other way around," Garkoe commented.  
  
"THE PROGRAM IS WORKING AS PLANNED," Mikey answered, "IT TAKES TIME TO RUN. WE HAD TO HAVE YOU IMPRISONED, BECAUSE THE PROGRAM REQUIRED THAT WE NEED TO ISOLATE THE HUMANOID FACTOR IN YOUR BLOOD. SINCE WE ACQUIRED THE BLOOD FROM THREE DIFFERENT SPECIES, THE RESULTS SHOULD TURN OUT BETTER THAN BEFORE. YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THIS, TALAR. AFTER ALL, YOU HELPED ME EDIT THE PROGRAM."  
  
"Oh yeah, I did, didn't I!" she answered.  
  
"What intelligent folks I have met in your company, Rodent!" Alandis smarted.  
  
"Only the best!" I answered.  
  
"THE RESULTS OF THIS PROGRAM SHOULD SPREAD BETTER THAN BEFORE," Mikey stated, "WE HAVE ALREADY CONVERTED THE Black Dalek. THE BLACK DALEK'S COMMAND IS UNDISPUTED AUTHORITY OVER ALL THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS. THE ONLY DALEK THAT CAN OVERRIDE THE COMMAND OF THE Black Dalek IS THE EMPEROR, AND HE IS AWAY FOR THE TIME BEING. NO NORMAL EMPIRICAL DALEK CAN QUESTION THE BLACK DALEK'S COMMAND NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT MAY BE."  
  
The implications were most frightening! But that was the flaw of computers. What the main central brain said went. I fear that the empirical daleks will all join the ranks of the hippie daleks! Davros will not be a happy camper when he gets back home.  
  
"Why didn't the gases of the stink bombs bother, you?" Garkoe asked our dalek companions.  
  
"SOME OF US CAN BY-PASS THE OLFACTORY CIRCUITS," Mikey answered.  
  
"BUT I ENJOY DAVETT'S STINK BOMBS!" Bubu complained.  
  
"You would!" Miriel complained.  
  
The dalek gave another flaming belch in her direction. She ignored him. We spent about another week on Skaro. Alandis was able to destroy all the records of his blood research, that Garkoe had done. Garkoe, for his part, conveniently forgot what he had learned about Alandis. Mikey spent his time moving out of the TARDIS. He was moving into Grismar's place, and I think he took Grismar's place in the band. Mikey had no musical talent, but, then again, neither did Davett and His Gaseous Emissions. For a superior uncaring cyborg, he had a lot of junk, and not all of it his . . . i.e. a case of WD-40, K-9, and the Nintendo. Of course, when one looks down the barrel of a dalek gun, one tends to see things the dalek's way. Talar fixed the motor scooter. I needed gas. Oh well, so much for the cute blonde thal fellow coming to the rescue.  
  
Finally, we stood at the edge of the woodlands. We, Alandis, Miriel, and I, prepared to leave and say our goodbyes to K-9 and Mikey. Garkoe and Talar came to see us off.  
  
Mikey looked Alandis over. "FOR AN INFERIOR HUMANOID, I FIND YOUR STRENGTH AND INTELLIGENCE RESPECTABLE."  
  
"You're so bad for a dalek either. I will miss you," Alandis replied.  
  
"MIRIEL," Mikey said, "STOP BY SKARO AGAIN. BUBU AND THE OTHERS NEED TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE GOOD FOOD."  
  
"It will be my pleasure to cook a feast for you some time," she replied.  
  
"RODENT, IT HAS BEEN MOST INTERESTING, AND I DO MEAN IT!" he said.  
  
I threw my arms around him in a hug. "Send us a tape of the band."  
  
Mikey turned to Garkoe and Talar. "FOR THALS, YOU ARE TOLERABLE."  
  
"Thank you . . . I think," answered Garkoe.  
  
I gave Mikey K-9's leash. Miriel and I said our goodbyes to K-9 by petting him on the head. He wagged his tail. Alandis looked skyward and shook his head. He refused to say goodbye to a mechanical dog. Mikey had also enrolled K-9 in Davett's band. I knew he had to be useful at something. We bade farewell to Garkoe and Talar, and we went off in our three separate ways. I motor scootered across the wastelands with my two companions. Actually, it took longer than we expected to find the TARDIS. It wasn't like George was disguised as a sand dune or anything logical like that. Last seen, he was a large dirty refrigerator. I just forgot where we parked. At sundown, Alandis replaced me in driving, and we got there in 45 minutes. Oh well, what are companions for anyway!  
  
Now, some time later, I had heard some distressing news that the Doctor had tricked Davros and his daleks into blowing up Skaro's sun. Well, I couldn't exactly let my green blob of a friend become fried green dalek. So, with George's cooperation, I got a message off to Mikey. George did like Mikey in his own way. Anyway, the rebel daleks and thals were able to devise a relay system that reflected the deadly beam elsewhere. I'm not sure where it hit, but I've heard that the cybermen are a bit teed off of late. 


End file.
